1. The Divine Intervention at Amen Corner Award: Phil Mickelson
Phil and Amy wearing Denis Taylor’s Sunglasses.
Phil Mickelson enjoyed the kind of lucky breaks during his final round that are normally reserved for ex-Taoisigh during raffles. Tackling the turn on Sunday Phil went:
Ninth Hole: Tee shot hammers off tree, bounces back into fairway. Par.
Tenth Hole: Tee shot hits tree, bounces back into the only playable place possible. Par.
Eleventh Hole: Ball hits fan, ricochets back onto short grass. Par
"He just had this peace to him that I haven't seen in awhile," said Bones. Is Phil God?
2. The Best Outlaw Award: Shingo Katayama
Shingo: Gringo
Shingo Katayama let us all down in round one when he had to remove his cowboy hat for “safety reasons” in the high winds. He didn’t disappoint the fashionistas for long though when he transformed into a Japanese Johnny Cash. You the man Shingo “The Gringo”!
The What The Hell Happened Us Award: Adam Scott and Sergio Garcia
Adam and Sergio: We used be sh*t-hot, now we’re just sh*t!
Adam Scott to Sergio Garcia: “Didn’t we used to be young, dashing and good at golf?” Garcia and Scott have now slipped to 18th and 46th in the world rankings but they can console themselves in the knowledge that Tiger himself was once ranked outside the top 50. When he was three years old!
The “I’m Ken Brown” Award: Oliver Wilson
Oliver Wilson as Ken On The Course
Is there anyone on the face of the Earth that actually enjoys Ken Brown’s “On the Course” clips for the BBC? Well we now have proof old Ken has at least one fan in Oliver Wilson. Wilson took time out during his first round at Augusta to recreate Ken’s famous ‘pine straw’ clip. Speaking from his home in the Seventies, Brown said “Wilson should stick to the golf, he clearly hasn’t mastered my crouch and camera stare”.
The Wrong Caddy Award: Padraig Harrington
Padraig Harrington with new caddy Ciaran. Ronan was Inconsolable
Little wonder that Padraig Harrington missed the cut at Augusta after his bizarre decision to replace his tried and trusted caddy Ronan Flood on the eve of the Masters. Flood was said to be “inconsolable” after receiving a text from his boss informing him he was to be replaced by Harrington’s two and a half year old son Ciaran. In an interview after missing the cut Harrington said, “In hindsight dropping Ronan may have been a mistake; I ended up carrying my bag and my caddy!”
The Worst Disguise Award: Kultida Woods
Tiger Woods mam Kultida came to Augusta disguised as one of the Jackson Five. Tida, or should that be Tito, had her sun-hat custom made from two decommissioned hot air balloons!
And Finally The Worst Dressed Award: Ryan Moore
Ryan Moore: Packin’ timber
Ryan Moore wanted to make at statement at Augusta. Unfortunately nobody could stop laughing long enough to hear it. Moore’s outfit says “I can rap like P. Diddy or sort out Quinn like the Financial Regulator. Sorry Ryan but we reckon you’re packing a bit too much timber to carry that outfit off.