A war of words opened last night between the Great Britain Olympic Council and its Irish counterpart, over who actually owns Graeme McDowell. The amazing thing about the argument is that it has nothing to do with golf.
GMac’s incredible 1.4 metre leap into the air from a standing start in a Celtic Manor bunker last Sunday sent Olympic high jump coaches scrambling to sign the Ulsterman for the London games. Even “Sky” Sports commentators (who you would think might know about all things celestial) were at a loss to explain McDowell’s incredible bound. Wearing a black shirt and an orange tie, analyst Mark Roe said he hadn’t seen such feats of levitation since the Exorcist, in which he starred alongside Robert Lee.
McDowell is now back in Portrush having tests carried out on his rocket like ankles. Team GB are said to be waiting in the wings to sign McDowell for the London Olympics but face a standoff with their Irish counterparts. McDowell’s bunker jump easily beat the Irish record set in 1963 outside a pub in Killarney but came up agonisingly short of the British best, set by Daley Thompson when he won the decathlon in 1980-something.
Whilst the Olympic Councils argued, beleaguered US company Sea World were straight out of the blocks to sign McDowell, booking him up for 8 weeks during the Summer. “We’re very excited about the prospect of having GMac leap out the water to ring bells with his nose, and he’s a damn sight safer than our killer whales” said a Sea World spokesperson.