Calling all senior citizen golfers. Are you tired of pesky young people with unkempt hair and trousers with pockets down at the knees hitting the golf ball miles past you? Now Cleveland have the answer for you.
Simply pay 350 quid for the new Cleveland Retro driver and bobs your uncle. It may look like the club that featured in scene eight from ‘Debbie Does Dallas Again’ from 1973, but that’s only a clever feature from Cleveland to fool the youth. The club is actually jam packed with great new scientific things that make it go as far as young people’s clubs. Cleveland have used new ‘cloaking’ technology and ‘nano-disguisereen’ particles to cleverly make this driver look like a piece of junk you might find at a car boot sale.
Cleveland staffers were so impressed with the fake vintage look of the club they said things like “What’s this piece of shit?” and “Did you get that at an antique auction?” before being wowed by the performance. One Cleveland Senior’s Tour pro said “This new retro driver is a bit like Paula Radcliffe, the head is all over the place, but by God it travels!”
The only worry now for Cleveland is that young people may start actually using this driver. “That’s a bridge we will have to cross if and when the time comes. For now we think we’ve made this driver look as cheap and crappy as possible,” said a top Cleveland designer “Short of putting grey hair and fluff on the sole, I cant see what more we can do.”
This story and the brilliant analogy to Paula Radcliffe are entirely made up for comic effect. Except for the driver, that’s not made up, it’s real. I swear. And it’s good……(that should fill back in that big hole I dug!)
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