by Ron for golfcentraldaily.com
According to the The Worldwide Institution of Turrets Suffers (TWITS), celebrity sufferer Ernie Els’ condition is getting much worse. His “tick” as turrets suffers call it, has been upgraded from stage two to stage three. Up to now the south Africans condition has only involved expletive language, but lately has included the addition of the word “chicken” and several variations.
Warning. Only click read more below if you are prepared to be shocked. I’m only the messenger.
Today Els told the Scotsman newspaper, “Equipment advances have had a huge f*ck effect chicken on the ability of anyone to separate himself from the rest. Nuggets, f*ck, chicken.”
“Nuggets, f*ck. Everyone is custom-fitted these days. The belly putter helps people like me f*ck chickens. The big-headed chicken drivers mean that everyone hits it like only Greg Norman used to f*ck. You can even get f*ck clubs that will help you eliminate draws or fades. Guys are more educated about their own breast wing leg games. Course management is better batter f*ck. And so is fitness crispy f*ck."
“I look around now f*ck nuggets and see chicken guys winning, guys who could never f*ck have done so 20 years ago," he said. "Maybe we pros do need to have smaller chicken f*ck drivers, less lofted nuggets wedges and a ball everyone must use snack box.”
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