An advanced alien race probing Earth for the very first time this week after travelling 500 years to get here were said to be "very fucking disappointed indeed" at the first human they scanned.

A spokesman for the star travellers from the planet Clarg 3 star announced that on spotting the human life form in Ixtapa, Mexico "they lost their shit altogether" with fear before fleeing back home again at warp-speed.


The advanced alien civilisation reported spotting an extremely hairy hostile looking creature with great big bulging eyes around the same time as PGA Tour golfer Graham deLaet reportedly spotted them and posted a video on twitter.

"We thought your planet would be super friendly, then we spot this big ugly monster waving a bottle and shouting up at us and we just thought it better to abandon your biosphere as a bad job," said Dr. Kron Ix.

"We might come back in 500 years again for another look, hopefully he'll be gone then" was the last communication received.

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