The European Tour have given their firmest indication yet that Padraig Harrington is in line to be the 2020 European Ryder Cup Captain, provided he controls his propensity to pontificate when asked anything at all whatsoever.



Speaking at a press conference in China, Tour chief Keith Pelley said "Padraig Harrington would make a great Ryder Cup Captain for us in 2020,...... if....and I mean this in the nicest possible way.....he doesn't sicken our holes every times he's asked a question.  The Ryder Cup Captaincy involves answering a lot of questions and I'm f*cked if I'm going to be standing around listening to him rabbiting on for 10 minutes on each one of them. That is not going to work for me. I have a life."

Harrington, for his part, said he's working hard on cutting down on the shite talk.
"I'm on the range every day, working with Ro, really trying to shorten the droning phase of my answers," he told reporters at Adare Manor recently. "But did you know there's good reason why I talk too much. Science says that humans, being social animals, are programmed to use communication as a vital tool to survive and thrive........ this along collectively dwindling attention spans due to mobile phones etc etc and the barrage of information from both verbal and digital sources.....oh shit I'm doing it again am'nt I?"

A final decision is set to be made on the Ryder Cup Captaincy in the coming weeks pending Harrington's progress.  Organisers are also looking into the possibility of turning Harrington's rambling-on into a weapon with which to sicken the hole of the Americans in a Vice-Captaincy role.

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