The European Tour have unveiled their new state of the art caddie facilities to be used at every event from now on.  The aim is to improve the overall working conditions and well being of the caddies on Tour.

"For too long the caddies have been forgotten about on the European Tour  and today that all changes," said Tour boss Keith Pelley. "Caddies are extremely skilled load carrying golf things.  They are the sherpas to our Edmund Hillary's. They are the donkeys to our Shreks. They are the Baldrick's to our Blackadder's and it's our job to keep them quiet, I mean happy.  So Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you our new European Tour caddie sheds."

Golfcentraldaily european tour satire
Keith Pelley trying out the powerhose at the new caddie facility yesterday.
The new fully mobile sheds can house up to 150 stock of caddie, with each beast having its own bay with Facebook Twitter and Netflix.  Hygiene is also vastly improved with slatted floors so that slurry from the caddies can be collected in a tank below the sheds and be sprayed back on the golf course to fertilise the grass as part of the Tour's "Caddie Giving Back" program.  Each bay also has its own trough where cheese sandwiches and Heineken can be safely thrown to them.

Before leaving, Mister Pelley tried the new powerhose also provided for the caddies.  "This is an extremely pressure skilled expensive water hose device so don't break it," Pelley said. "We hope the caddies will enjoy the fifteen horsepower Briggs and Stratton engine and the 20 bar of powerhose pressure to help strip off the layers of dirt and grime that tends to accumulate on them.  Remember a clean caddie means less chance of a player picking up a bug from them so everybody wins."

More as it emerges.


Join the GolfCentralDaily community on Facebook Here and on Twitter Here.
Share To:

GolfCentralDaily

Uncensored, independent, inside the ropes Tour golf news and spoofs from the world's best golf blog!

Post A Comment:

0 comments so far,add yours