European Tour boss Dame Keith Pelley took to Instagram this morning to launch a scathing attack on a bunch of Russian hacker carpenters who he claims built the unhittably shite green used at the Hero World Challenge in London last night.

The pre-amble to the British Masters at Canary Wharf quickly descended into farce as the "pontoon green" the players were hitting towards turned out to be fucking impossible to hit.

A concerned fan realises he cant bloody well  just leave because the camera is right up against his face.
It later emerged that Russian hacker carpenters posing as illegal Lithuanian carpenters who said they'd do the job for £200 cash were employed by the Tour to build the green.

Dame Pelley told his 53 followers
“Sad that Russian hacker carpenters would mess up this tremendous miniature aquatic based golf event. UNACCEPTABLE!! Fairly skilled played and Justin Rose made to look pretty darn rubbish. MORE UNACCEPTABLE!! Leaving Vernon Kay left exposed like that without a fucking thing to say after we paid him £4000 cash for the night?? NOT ON!!” posted Pelley, under a picture of a glass of red wine in some fancy London restaurant.


More as it emerges.




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