Energizer Bunny Sympathizes With Furyk After 5 Hour Energy Fail

The Energizer Bunny was quick to come out in defence of Jim Furyk in the wake of his US Open collapse.  Furyk powered only on a 5-hour energy syrup containing caffeine, taurine and extracts of bat came to a sudden halt on the 16th hole at Olympic Club as his round ticked past the potion’s cut off of five hours for supporting human life forms.

The Energizer Bunny told reporters “I’ve been in touch with Jim to offer my sympathies. I’ve been in his situation many times myself.  I remember one time in particular, when I was involved in a mass bunny drumming marathon.  I was powered with ordinary zinc carbon batteries at the time and just suddenly ran out of puff. I remember it so clearly. It was heartbreaking.”

 The bunny went on to say “Jim asked me about the time I was climbing the rockface.  Everybody remembers that.  I had gotten over the second ledge and was making a push for the summit when those cursed zinc carbon barrels of crap they had shoved up my ass failed again.  I broke my pelvis in the fall.  It could have been worse, my landing was cushioned by several other bunnies.

These days I’m like a new bunny. I’m powered by Energizer and just keep going on and on. I’ve recommended them to Jim but I’m not so sure he’s keen on the idea of where they need to be inserted.”

 

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