November 2012

2009 season golf highlights 2010 masters highlights 2010 us masters 2010 witb Ian Poulter 2013 funny 2013 Video 2014 Volvo Golf Champions Betting Tips and Expert Picks 3 irish open tips 3 irish open; spindoctor 430 metre par 3 accenture match play 2010 tips Acushnet Alvaro Quiros Alvaro Quiros - konica minolta biz hub swing vision Amendoeira Review anders hansen witb Andy Campbell andy roberts angel cabrera witb anthony hopkins talks about the USPGA on Sky HD anthony kim Anthony Kim witb Anthony Wall Appleby april fools golf aqua-man Arnold Palmer Invitaional and Andalucia Open Betting Tips augusta avantha masters 2010 final round highlights avantha masters betting tips baddeley Ballantine's Championship Final Round Results ballinrobe golf club baltray barack obama pic funny ben curtis witb Ben hogan ben hogan full dvd torrent Best golf tips best golf torrents bet bet your balls betfair ballentine's championship 2010 golf betting tips betfair golf tips betfair verizon heritage betting tips betting Betting Tips bloggy underfoot the spindoctor's view bmw international open tips BMW PGA Championship 2010 BMW PGA Championship Tips Bob Hope Classic Final Round Highlights 2010 boo boylesports golf tips brent graham british open 2010 qualifying british open tips Byron Nelson Tips cabrera Camillo Villegas Camillo Villegas witb Camilo Villegas Spiderman Castano Castleknock Review catalunya cheap green fees china open Chris Wood witb chuck couch classic cleveland niblick review colonial betting tips Course Review crystal swing Daniel Gendreau darren clarke Darren Clarke and Lee Westwood Golf Clinic Video darren clarke porsche darren clarke taylormade setanta ryder cup oceanico faldo dc60 golf irish open darren clarke what's in the bag darren clarke witb David Glynn davis day 4 highlights dc60 derek murray Dizzee Rascal Donal Hughes Donal+Hughes Doonbeg Dr Dr and the Medic driving tips dubai desert classic 2010 dubai desert classic betting preview dubai world championship preview Duelling Drivers dustin Dustin Johnson Eamonn Kenneally edfors equipment Estes Estoril Open Betting european open betting tips european Tour european tour golf European Tour golf betting tips european tour golf tips european tour highlights european tour live scoring european tour odds European Tour: 2010 Abu Dhabi golf championship final round highlights faldo final round final round highlights fitness floyd food poisoning golf Footjoy footjoy icons foregolf foregolf.ie Forsyth Fred Couples witb 2010 Free Golf free setanta sports quiz funny Funny golf ad funny golf news funny golf pic funny golf video game improvement tip gareth maybin garia Gary Boyd Genzon course review golf Golf Betting Golf betting predictions golf betting strategy golf betting tips golf central golf channel golf digest Golf Funny golf glider Golf Humour golf live event golf odds Golf Personality golf predictions golf shaft stiffness scale Golf Tips Golf Vacations Ireland Golf+Funny Golf+Humour golfcentral daily facebook golfcentraldaily golfcentraldaily.com Golfing Legend Happy Gilmore harrington suit Harrington Vs McIlroy he drinks tequila highlights hoch Hogan's 5 lessons hot equipment How it's made humour Ian poulter barclays singapore open Ian Poulter Fun ian poulter video In the bag Ireland Irish amateur golf Irish Examiner irish examiner golf irish examiner golf spindoctor irish open Irish senior's open 2010 Jack Nicklaus Jack Nicklaus Video JB Carr Jim Nantz Jimenezd jimmy kimmel joburg Open tips Joe Carr John Daly John Patrick Daly Johnny O'Shea Jose Manuel Lara K C k club K Club Ryder Cup Memories K Club Smurfit Course Review Kelan MacDonagh kenny perry kenny perry witb kevin phelan Killeen Castle Killeen Castle Fourball Voucher langer lee valley betting preview Lee Valley Scratch Cup lee westwood witb Legends Golf Resort Lesson letter to shane lowry Lorena ochoa lough erne course review Lough Erne Golf Resort Louis Copeland louis oosthuizen witb Luke Donald Luke Donald witb 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tour highlights 2010 Phil Bonham phil mickelson Phil Mickelson vid Phil Mickelson witb Phoenix Open 2010 Platinum One Portugal Masters Betting Tips postmortem poulter premier-licensing president's cup Press conference Pro V1 Pro V1x prointhebag qatar Masters 2010 Qatar Masters Golf 2010 betting tips quail hollow quail hollow betting tips 2010 R9 Driver retire rex hoggard Richard Green richie ramsey controversial Rick Veitch ricky barnes funny Robin Williams Golf Pure Comedy Gold robocup roe ron sirak rory leonard what's in the bag rory leonard witb Rory McIlroy Rory McIlroy Konica Minolta Slow Mo Swing Vision rory mcilroy witb ross fisher witb Rules of golf quiz Ryder Cup ryder cup team selection Santa Sack Golf Christmas Present Ideas Donal Hughes Spindoctor Irish Examiner Seam Barry secrets of the short game torrent secrets of the short game torrent download sergio sergio garcia witb setanta golf Seve shaft skinz Shane Lowry Shell Houston Open shell houston open 2010 final round highlights shell houston open 2010 prediction Shell Houston Open Betting shingo simon cowell on golf simon dyson witb skinz sky sports golf south africa Spindoctor srixon z star ball review st jude classic tips stack and tilt Stephen Riley Stewart Cink witb Storm str8-fit driver Stricker stuart appleby witb tailored shorts the adare manor golf challenge The Duel On the Lough The Lough Erne Challenge The players championship tiger Tiger attack tiger rubik cube tiger vanity fair Tiger Woods Bethpage 2002 Tiger Woods Caddyshack Video tiger woods dvd torrent downlaod tiger woods instruction dvd torrent tiger woods isleworth espn interview with Tom Ronaldi March 21st 2010 tiger woods plate collection tiger woods song tiger woods spotted sex addiction clinic hattiesburg mississippi tiger woods wii torrent tiger woods wins british open Tiger Woods witb time to golf Titleist tom watson clinic tony q'aja Top european tour tipster Tour Truck tour warp tpi fitness training aid travelers championship tips trevor immelman Uro Club us master betting results US Masters 2010 US Masters 2010 Betting Preview us masters 2010 green jacket awards US masters betting post mortem US Masters Golf 2010 Betting Tips us open us open blog US PGA Champion 2010 us pga tour us tour betting tips uspga tour tips Valderrama valero texas open 2010 betting tips valero texas open tips verizon heritage Video Vijay Vijay and Boo Ad Vilamoura Golf wales open tips wayne o'callaghan golf wayne's world of fitness weird golf news west of ireland golf 2010 westwood westwood suit wgc ca championship 2010 tips what what's in angel cabrera's bag What's In Fred Couples Bag 2010 what's in lee westwood's bag what's in peter lawrie's bag what's in ross fisher's bag what's in simon dyson's bag what's in the bag what's in the bag 2010 Charl Schwartzel what's in the bag 2010 Cian Curley What's In the Bag 2010 Fred Couples what's in the bag 2010 Louis Oosthuizen what's in the bag 2010 Matteo Manassero what's in 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Yang what's in the bag angel cabrera What's in the bag ernie els what's in the bag Justin Rose what's in the bag Kenny Perry what's in the bag nick dougherty what's in the bag Rory McIlory what's in the bag ross fisher what's in the bag simon dyson what's in the bag stuart appleby What’s In The Bag 2010 Rickie Fowler winter golf special offers witb witb 2010 Ross Fisher witb edoardo molinari 2010 witb Francesco Molinari 2010 witb Jim Furyk 2010 witb matt kuchar 2010 witb Peter Lawrie 2010 witb rory mcilroy 2010 witb rory mcilroy 2012 Women's British Open Awards woody austin Y.E. Yang Yang's Hybrid

Here’s the list of Golf Digest Ireland Top 100 Courses 2013.  What do you think?  I’ll have my say later when the heart palpitations die down.
The rankings are based on seven criteria:
Shot making/variety 20 points
Design variety 10 points
Memorability 10 points
Wow factor 10 points
Condition 10 points
Playability 10 points
Degree of difficulty/fairness 10 points

1. Royal County Down (=)
2. Portmarnock (=)
3. Royal Portrush (=)
4. Waterville (=)
5. Lahinch (Up 1)
6. Ballybunion (Old) (down 1)
7. The European Club (up 1)
8. Tralee (Down 1)
9. County Louth (Baltray) (=)
10. Adare (=)

After pushing the GMac ‘mashed potato’ cry to the limit yesterday at the Tiger Woods World Challenge,  security officials finally apprehended the serial heckler responsible following a protracted investigation.

GMac Kristin He has been identified as PGA Tour electrician Tom Wazowski, 49, originally from Iowa.  The net had been closing in on Wozowski after a joint USGA/ PGA operation which saw officials work together and figure out the same guy was travelling to and heckling at every tournament the length and breadth of America.

Released after an hours ‘Tackling’ in a  room alone with the USGA’s Mike Davis, a bloodied and bruised Wazowski emerged defiant telling the assembled media he never really planned to become a heckler.

Related story: GMac Facing Life Of Marriage Hell After Subtle Break Up Comments Get Horribly Misconstrued

"It started around the year 2002, I had all the electrical work for the tournament done so went out to watch Sergio Garcia play a few holes.  He was messing around with his grip so much I just got fed up and shouted ‘Hit the f*cking ball for f*ck sake’.  All of the crowd cheered and really liked it so it started there.  I’ve heckled several players successfully over the years including Ben Crane and Rory Sabatini and I even travelled to France on vacation one time where I heckled Colin Montgomerie.  That was one of my most memorable heckles.  This year was the first year I decided to concentrate on heckling one person.  I knew I was taking a big risk but wanted to mark 10 years as a heckler with something big.”

“I cant claim to have invented the phrase ‘mashed potatoes’. I just heard it on some cookery programme on TV and jotted into my heckle book.  I couldn’t have imagined that when I used it with GMac it would become such a massive hit.  Watching him get so pissed off and even do the tosser symbol at me yesterday made it all worthwhile.”

 

Now banned from the PGA Tour forever, Wazowski spoke of his future plans, “I think my heckling days are over now.  It’s a bit too early too decide what I’ll do next, I think I deserve a break to spend some time with my family and just have a think.  I hear there’s an opening for a madman to knock cyclists off their bikes at next year’s Tour de France, but as I said I wont be making any decisions until after the Christmas break.” 

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As part of the BBC Christmas schedule announced today, R&A chief Peter Dawson is set to reprise the role of host of the hit game show Blankety Blank held for many years by his late brother Les.

Speaking to reporters outside television centre whilst trying to stop a blue skittle falling out the side of his mouth Dawson said “I’m really happy to be taking over from Les, even if it is for just for a one off Christmas special. Our younger brother Matt, the ‘Question of Sport’ guy, has been really great at helping show me how to act like a complete fanny on TV.”

New BBC director general Worzel Gummage who took over from the guy who knew Jimmy Saville was kiddie fiddling for years and said nothing about it said “We’ve been trying to get Peter to do this for ages.  He’s really well known for entertaining gentlemen in the private members bar at St Andrews with his impromptu gurning displays when all the pole dancing finishes around 2am.”

Dawson agreed to do the Special after the BBC said he could personally choose the six celebrity panellists who will help with the traditional fill-in-the-blank statements.

“Obviously we needed someone funny looking so I chose Mike Davis from the USGA.  Someone drove a flymo down the middle of that guys head, it’s hilarious!  We needed a know-it-all: Ewan Murray, a complete and utter bullshitter who himself is completely oblivious to the fact: Bruce Critchley, a really good looking woman: Laura Davies, someone who can talk the hind legs off a donkey: Padraig Harrington and someone who just looks really really pale and creepy but who you cant help feeling sorry for: Robert Lee.

separated Blankety Blank became famous for it’s double entendre questions, a tradition which Dawson hopes to keep alive.

“I’ve been busy working on questions all week,” the portly frontman said out of the corner of his mouth.  “So far I’ve come up with

‘Did you catch a glimpse of Colin Montgomerie on the tee?  He has to have the world's biggest pair of  _________.’

and

‘I met Keegan Bradley yesterday.  He wanted to shove his belly putter so far up my _________________ I’d be tasting grip for a week.’

Contestants on the Christmas Special are set to be wealthy businessmen flown in from Asia and The Emirates.  In a subtle tweak to the original show, when presented with the Blankety Blank cheque book and pen, they will  be required to fill in the cheques and present them back to the European Tour.  The biggest cheque wins.

The Blankety Blank Christmas Special will be shown on Christmas Day on BBC1 before Cat hits gouged in the face with a broken bottle in Eastenders and Del Boy and Rodders do Batman and Robin in Only Fool ‘n Horses.

Today sees the start of the 2012 Seve Legends Tournament at Pebble Beach.  Over the years the great man has been honoured in many ways but this year to coincide with the event which helps raise awareness and funds for the Seve Ballesteros Foundation, expert cocktail waiter and Seve fan Damien Higgins has created a very special Seve cocktail.

How to make Seve Ballesteros “Al Rojo Vivo”

Al Rojo Vivo Seve Ballesteros Cocktail

Ingredients: 150 ml Rioja Crianza, 15 ml PX Sherry, 15 ml Apple Brandy , 2 bar spoons Seville Orange Marmalade, 3 dashes Spanish Bitters

Add all ingredients into a Boston Shaker and fill with cubed ice. Shake well for about 10 seconds and then strain into a red wine goblet. Fill with cubed and then crushed ice and garnish lavishly with orange, red apple and mint.

Social and Cocktail says:

Especially constructed in the memory of Seve Ballesteros, the fiery spice of the good quality wine is complimented by the sweet, raisiny, mixed spice of the sherry and the chamomile, citrus and raspberry of the small batch Spanish bitters. To give balance and texture the marmalade gives a sweet acidity and the brandy brings strength and balances the bitterness of the marmalade and bitters.

The drink itself is based on the Spanish Sangria and the traditional mixed drink the Cobbler. The deep red colour reflects Seve’s passion and fiery nature, and the lavish garnish his flamboyance and skill. The garnish itself has meaning; with the orange represent the orange influence in the cocktail as well as a famous Spanish export, like Seve. The apple also tells you what you will find in the drink as well as representing his home region of Cantabria. The mint represents the fairways and greens he was so proficient on and gives the drink aroma. The drink as a whole is imposing, just as Seve was, with great height and colour.

 

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English prankster David Lynn, runner up at the US PGA Championship just a few short months ago, is this evening left facing the prospect of a future without golf thanks to a heretofore glossed over paragraph in yesterday’s R&A anchoring ban communiqué.

david lynn ben crane_thumb[1] The final part of the letter bans, from January 1st 2013, any player whose shoulders, tip to tip, exceed one metre in length.  Players with outrageously large shoulders resembling those of a cow, are deemed to have a decided advantage when putting, as opposed to normal human beings.

R&A Chief Peter Dawson, who always looks like he’s lost control of something in his mouth, like a polo mint, said “The only player that this ban is going to affect is David Lynn and if you take into account the world’s entire population of golfers, that’s really nobody. Not calling Mr.Lynn nobody for a second.”

Lynn was born with a disease called “Linebackers Syndrome” which manifests itself in the form of shoulders resembling an NFL players’ when fully kitted out.  Other symptoms include being just a small bit daft.

If he wants to continue his golf career, the only option open now to Stoke’s third most famous over 38 year old is an excruciatingly painful scapular reduction operation followed by up to a year of rehabilitation.  Even then the risk is large, with 50% of patients unable to ever shrug again let alone play golf.

“It’s like a huge weight has been placed on my, what’s the word, oh yeah shoulders”, said Lynn “all that’s left for me is to send in the old CV to Sky Sports and see if they’ll give me a job.  Then again, a life sat next to Bruce Critchley makes me think I should chance the operation. Oh I don't know what to do, I’m a mess.”

More as it emerges.

 

RE: Joint Ruling on the Anchored Putting Stroke

Dear Golf Lovers:

PHIL_BELLY_PUTTER After much consultation between ourselves and Donald Trump, we at the R&A have today agreed and ratified a set of regulations regarding the use of anchoring belly putters.We are conscious that some of these regulations may not be popular for the many who have become accustomed to using long putters anchored in some manner (or ‘cheats’ as they are often referred to),but we can assure them our intentions throughout were always to return the game to the fundamental way it was first played in Scotland in the 15th century.

To view the full letter on the Back9Network please click here

2012 World Challenge Betting Preview and Tips

odds from paddypower

Looking for a unique present this Christmas? Check out my GMac Tour Apparel.

Bo Van Pelt 14/1

bo_van_pelt[4] Tied for 10th in his only appearance here in 2011 but enters this year on the back of some stellar late season form. Second to Watney at the CIMB Classic in Malaysia at the end of October and winner of the ISPS Handa Perth International after a great battle with Jason Dufner. A few weeks have passed but at 14/1 in a limited field of 18, this looks to be where the value lies, each way.

 

Jim Furyk 14/1

jim furyk funny[4] Jim’s lack of length won’t be an issue on the short (7052 yards) Sherwood Country Club. The course demands precision from the tee and pinpoint iron play which should suit Jim’s game perfectly. An ever present over the last five stagings, Furyk’s worst finish is 11th in 2010, his best is winning in 2009, with a T6 in 2011, T5 in 2008 and 3rd in 2007.

Add to that three consecutive top-10’s at the McGladrey (3rd), the Tour championship and the BMW at the end of the PGA Tour season and Jim also looks a good each way bet.

 

Hunter Mahan 18/1

hunter It has been a season of highs in the WGC Matchplay and Houston and one of lows after being passed over for the Ryder Cup for Hunter but a top 10 at the Tour Championship showed there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hunter’s accuracy off the tee means he’s regularly in the mix here with top five finishes in three out the last four years. A generous 18/1.

Best Of The Rest

Ian Poulter 14/1 is coming off some great form with a fourth at Lake Malaren before winning the WGC HSBC in China and though he didn’t feature atop the leaderboard at the DP World Championship remains one to watch this week. Tied 6th in 2010 and T5 in 2009 in his lat two appearances in this event.

GMac 20/1 was utterly frustrated with the Earth Course last week which just didn’t suit his eye. Sherwood on the other hand is right up his alley. A winner here in 2010 beating Tiger in a playoff capped off a memorable season then, a repeat this year would be sweet. Recently engaged to Kristin, will he be able to focus is the big question?

Just weeks after the Jimmy Saville fiddling controversy, the BBC are faced with another potentially embarrassing headache on the eve of the 2012 Sports Personality of the Year Awards.

Bradley funnyIn a unique twist of fate this year, more than one UK citizen, including an Englishman actually won something during 2012, raising questions as to whether a real  voting system will be required to replace Irene in HR who normally counts the votes.

“We’ve never really had to have more than Irene taking votes or counting texts for SPOTY on a ‘ready to go’ mobile because all our sports stars are usually rubbish”, BBC spokesman Des Lynam said today. “It’s normally pretty clear who should win, we just pick the least bad from a terrible lot.”

Instead this year Rory McIlroy from Northern Ireland, Mo Farah from Africa somewhere, Andy Murray from Scotland, Bradley Wiggins actually from England and the lad who won the long jump replace regular losers David Haye, Michael Owen, Tom Daley and David Beckham as contenders for the top prize.

With Andy Murray announcing he couldn’t be arsed even showing up many analysts now believe it will boil down to a straight contest between Wiggins and McIlroy with Gary Lineker and Sue Barker set to decide the winner via an elaborate vote rigging scam.  While both have amazing hair, Sue Barker is set to have the deciding vote as longest serving inmate at the asylum.

Wiggins is the bookies early favourite as he has incredible definition in his locks.  Reports that McIlroy will only accept the top prize if Caroline Wozniacki receives the Best Oversees Sports Star Award, are as yet unconfirmed.

 

For those of you who are new to this, every Christmas I team up with my clothing sponsor Kartel to bring you a few really cool items which would make unique Christmas presents.
gmac with shirt Last year we had Padraig Harrington Tour apparel, which made for Christmas presents in Ireland, the UK, Austria, Germany and the USA.  This year we have three Tour issue Graeme McDowell items from this, the first year of his GMac for Kartel range.
These three items are genuine Tour issue complete with sponsors logos from Graeme’s clothing room at the Kartel HQ in Dublin. You will not find them anywhere else except on the man himself.
Selling on a first come first served basis. Payment by paypal or by cash in Ireland, and I’ll post anywhere (within reason) for free using national post.  I along with Kartel guarantee the items as 100% genuine Tour issue and offer money back if not satisfied.

To purchase please contact me on examinerspindoc@eircom.net. Please no tyre kickers, these are exclusive items.

1. GMac Tour Issue Black/Orange Polo Shirt

Size: Medium, though this would easily fit a large.95% Cotton,5% Elastane
Logo’s: Mastercard (collar), Aol (chest) Audamars Piguet and Marquisjet (sleeves).
  • Pima Cotton: Extremely Soft for Superior Luxury
  • Button Down Two Piece Collar, with Four Button Plackette
  • Chest Pocket
  • Contrast Colour Button Holes and Button Thread
  • UV Cut: Up to Factor 30 from Sun's Harmful Rays
  • Absorbtec & Anti Microbial: Quick Drying Shirt Action and Helps Prevent Unpleasant Odours

Cost including postage: €155

t2
 t1

t3

3. GMac Tour Issue Black Rain Jacket

Size: Medium.
  • Logos:Mastercard (collar), Aol (chest) Audamars Piguet and Marquisjet (sleeves).
  • Ultra light rain top.
  • Full Zip
  • Breathable, waterproof, seam-sealed
  • This is short sleeved made for Graeme as opposed to pro shop version which has removable sleeves.
  • Guaranteed waterproof for minimum three years.

Cost Including Postage: €195

rain

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4

1 2
Rain 1
Rain 3
Rain 4 Rain 5

3. SOLD GMac Tour Issue Blue Polo Shirt SOLD

Size: Medium, though this would easily fit a large. 95% Cotton,5% Elastane
Logo’s: Mastercard (collar), Verizon (chest) Audamars Piguet and GMac for Kartel (sleeves).
  • Pima Cotton: Extremely Soft for Superior Luxury
  • Button through Two Piece Collar
  • Chest Pocket
  • Buttons, Button Holes and Button Thread. Subtle Contrast Sleeve Tipping
  • UV Cut: Up to Factor 30 from Sun's Harmful Rays
  • Dry Tec & Anti Microbial: Shirt Moisture Evaporates Faster and Helps Prevent Unpleasant Odours
Cost including postage: €165
GMac 1
GMac 5
GMac 4
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A donation for the sales will be made to my chosen charity, The Jack and Jill Foundation.  To find out more about the work they do please click here.

If you’re thinking of coming to Ireland for The Gathering in 2013 and are bringing your clubs take some personal advice from the Doc. I wan’t you to have a super golf vacation, not trudge down the same conveyor belt as all the other tourists.
The Rosapenna Hotel & Golf Resort in North-West Donegal is seriously worth considering as a base for your golf holiday.  Why?

1. Rosapenna Golf

Rosapenna have two top class courses, the Old Tom Morris Links and the Sandy Hills Links, another 9 hole course “Coastguard Nine”, a par 3 course and a top class Rosapenna.Aerialpractice facility.  Just last week they acquired two Jack Nicklaus links courses adjoining their own along the picturesque Sheephaven Bay to become the largest links golf destination in Europe.
That’s a whopping 81 links golf holes without ever having to start your car.
Here’s a link to my lay mans review of Sandy Hills when I visited last year.
Apart from the Rosapenna courses you’re in a golfing mecca in the North and West coast with several top links courses within minutes drive.  Click here to view other courses in the North West area.
For the non golfer’s there’s a tonne of stuff to do and sights to see in Donegal too. I bring my wife and four kids up every year for a break, we love it. And no, I’m not get paid anything to write this!

2. The Destination

You see Golf tourists travelling to Ireland don't instinctively head to the North and West coast of Ireland.  Only the discerning ones RP.Valleythat do their research know that up North West, the golf is excellent, there is no congestion and you can expect to play for a fraction of the cost of the marquee courses elsewhere.
The Old Tom Links at Rosapenna is now ranked No.34 in Golf Digest Ireland’s Top 100 Course List. The newer championship course, the Sandy Hills Links, designed by Pat Ruddy has just been ranked No.42 in Great Britain & Ireland’s Top 100 List by Golf Monthly Magazine 2012; an effective ranking of 10th in Ireland.

3. The Perfect Base

 img_2 Base yourself with the Casey Family in their four star 66 bedroom hotel with leisure centre and adjoining Golf Pavilion.  It’s a beautiful little hotel with great food, amazing food and a warm family welcome. Here’s a link to the hotel.
You can walk to all the on site golf and the other courses are just a short hop away.
To find out more about the Rosapenna Hotel click here.
So there it is, some Gathering 2013 advice from the Doc.  If you are coming to Ireland and need more advice please feel to contact me through the comments box.  And if I’m free, I’ll join in Rosapenna next year for a round.

A History Lesson

It stinks, it stinks, it stinks to high Heaven.

George O'Grady Funny[5]In the same breath as George O’Grady spoke about a “challenging economic climate”, he announced a near €19 million Final Series of four events in China, Turkey and Dubai.  Okay you cant blame the Tour for embracing the big money events, and you cant blame the new venues and sponsors for wanting to host events but George should call it for what it is, a selling out of mainland Europe.  The only part of the European Tour that seems to be guaranteed is their office in England.

In case you missed the European Tour have announced changes to the format of the season for 2013. The Race To Dubai will now include a final series of four massive money events totalling almost €19 million to end the season. And for all the guys out in Catalunya battling to get their card; these events are only for the top 60.

Are any of these big money events in Europe I hear you cry? Not a snowballs chance. Two are set for China (at the BMW Masters, WGC-HSBC Champions) one in Turkey (Turkish Open) and then the final DP World Championship at Jumeirah Estates in Dubai.

Mainland Europe gets the flick like a piece of crusty snot hanging from O’Grady’s nose. 

Rather, they seem to have focussed on attempting to gather the “European” elite players for a series of tournaments to end the season. The calendar fits in with the Fed Ex Cup allowing PGA defectors such as McIlroy, Westwood, Kaymer and co to make it look like they actually still play on their home Tour.

And O’Grady didn’t deny the move might entice the likes of Tiger Woods to take up European Tour membership next season.

Players can only make the final if they play in two of the first three Final Series events; if they play all three, the get a 20% Race To Dubai points bonus which will be added to their total before the final.

The new, play two of three rule, is a reaction to Rory McIlroy opting to forego an appearance at the WGC HSBC Champions in favour of a one day money match with Tiger Woods and a trip to Bulgaria to watch Caroline lose a tennis match (aka the chance of a ride).

A look at the 2013 Tour Schedule makes pretty shocking reading with the least ever number of events ever in Europe. South Africa is the biggest beneficiary with six tournaments scheduled. England and Ireland both have just one event as has Spain which is the biggest loser with five events ditched.

Sick and Tired of living off the fame of being extras in the hit Police Academy films, handlebar moustachioed Peter O’Keefe and Mark Murphy are set for a tilt at European Tour Q School tomorrow.

blue Oyster

“If we make it we make it so there’s zero pressure” said O’Keefe, “We’re definitely not going to give up the lifestyle of luring lithe young men into the Blue Oyster for a waltz by night. How could we?”

Speaking to reporters as he packed enough fudge into the bag for the week caddie Mark Murphy said “We’re doubly adaptable, golf hats by day, mock leather police hats and truncheons by night.”

Commenting on the rigours of Q School O’Keefe said “If you think Tour school is a pain in the ass, you’ve obviously never popped in to the Blue Oyster!” 

Best of luck boys!

 

Just days after assuming a new career as an analyst for Sky Sports Golf, Paul McGinley finds himself on the brink of dismissal by the broadcasting giant after breaking one of their golden rules.

Nearing the end of the coverage from the second round at the DP World Championship, a slouched McGinley was seen on camera appearing to lean on the silver rail of the fake set.  An extremely large breasted woman wearing shades who spotted the incident, reported it immediately to the broadcasting complaints commission.

McGinley funny

It’s widely known in TV circles that Sky analysts receive weeks of intensive training in perfecting the art of glancing into the camera and standing upright without the aid of props or rails.  Slouching or touching the silver rail is strictly forbidden under Sky broadcasting Health and Safety rules since an incident three years ago which saw Howard Clark fall out of the set and injure his head.  Many say that, due to his injuries, Clark still isn’t as depressed as he was before the accident.

A team of workers have been brought in to reinforce the hand rail, made of recycled plastic tubing.

An investigation is also underway as to whether McGinley’s broadcast training was somewhow ‘fast tracked’ to avoid an appearance at the event by Colin Montgomerie, the deeply unpopular Scot who says “uh uh uh” before during and after every sentence.  Experts claim that McGinley “didn’t stare lovingly into the camera to make us feel included in the conversation even once during the whole broadcast.”

Speaking from the Wisley Golf Club where he is appearing as Santa for the next month, regular Sky analyst Denis Pugh said “I really feel for Paul, he was doing so well up to that. It only takes a seconds lapse in concentration to give the appearance to viewers that you couldn’t really give a shite whether Gonzalo Castano putts with his right hand over his left or vice versa.”

A decision is set to be made in the next few hours as to whether McGinley will continue in his role.  John Hawkesworth is said to be on standby at the old folks home should he be required.

 

Scottish, sounds older than he actually is, singer Paolo Nutini is waking up this morning minus one high profile fan as Irish professional golfer David Higgins revealed he had deleted him from his ipod on the eve of one of the biggest tests of his career.  Higgins will now attempt to qualify for the European Tour through Q school starting tomorrow without the help of the dentally defective folk crooner.

The_LumineersThe skinny Scottish songster told reporters he was coping with the rejection, saying “I’ve got food in my belly and a licence for my telly, so everything is gonna be alright.”

Higgins, who, according to wikipedia, turns 40 at the end of the month will then be certifiably medically too old to listen to Nutini and has thus sought out other musical genres in a bid to help him cope with the rigours of Tour School.

“I’m going with ‘The Lumineers’ this week because I feel can keep me chilled,”  the Bernhard Langer dopple-ganger told a packed press conference at PGA de Catalunya. 

The European Tour met yesterday in emergency session to ratify The Lumineers as conforming music for players aged forty and over. They join  Enya, ABBA and Leonard Cohen on the exclusive list.

Speaking from their new base in Denver Colorado where they are busy working on their second album, The Lumineers lead singer and guitarist Wesley Schultz said “we’re delighted to be on David’s ipod this week, everyone knows Tour School is a complete pain in the arse so we’re determined to keep our guy super chilled with a blend of vocals drums, percussion, mandolin and of course cello.

The Dave Matthews Band, who were widely tipped to take over from Nutini on Higgins ipod are said to be “inconsolable” and declined to comment.

 

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about-miura Master clubmaker and first cousin of legendary sword maker Hattori Hanzo, Katsuhiro Miura appealed today for major golf companies to leave him alone and start making their own clubs.

Miura has claimed he is constantly pestered by representatives from Titleist, Callaway, TaylorMade and Nike who continually try to gain to access to his home in the Hyogo Prefecture of Japan.  “I caught the Titleist guy climbing up the drainpipe last night and two lads from Nike knocked over the bins the other morning and woke the kids.  One ran off with a half eaten sandwich and some rotten lettuce”.

Totally refuting suggestions that he made the irons for all of the world’s top golfers whose club sponsors then stick their own labels on with sellotape, Miura said “That’s complete and utter bullshit. I didn’t make Snedekers.”

“Do you honestly think I hand craft every players clubs, while the other 350 guys in our massive factory sit around and scratch their arses? You’ve been reading too much Golf Digest son.”

 

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While Graeme McDowell and Kristin Stape were on the helipad atop the Burj Al Arab in Dubai yesterday, Ian Poulter was gathering a crowd of his own as he staged an impromptu fashion show.

ian poulter funny[4] Poults was unveiling the controversial new IJP 2013 collection with it’s patented new ‘ergonomic’ design.  The company claim the minimal IJP 2013 Masters Collection allows for zero restriction during the golf swing and has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with massive cost saving measures after depressing 2012 sales figures.

“We had to think outside the box, no pun intended,” chief designer Ian Poulter told reporters. “When we started we were revolutionary, now everybody’s selling a pair of circus trousers.  We tried to copyright the tartan idea a few back, I cant really remember the full details but it turned out some Morris guy in Scotland had the patent since around 1900.”

The new 2013 IJP collection should be available in all sex shops from January.

 

Graeme McDowell finds himself in hot water this morning as he wakes up to the real possibility of having to spend a lifetime with girlfriend Kristin Stape after his attempts to break up with her gently were horribly misconstrued. 

Instead of ending their relationship as planned in a quiet place atop the Burj Al Arab Hotel where nobody would be able to hear her crying,  GMac was shocked as Stape turned the tables, dropping to one knee ring in hand and proposed marriage as a marching band, friends and family streamed onto the rooftop.

gmac and kristin“What the hell could I do” a shocked McDowell said afterwards adding “This has gone completely arseways. How in the name of God do I get out of this one?” 

Stape somehow misinterpreted McDowell’s recent strange behaviour including wanting to be left alone, going for pints with his mates and cryptic comments about their future; as signs that he was about to pop the question.  The former interior designer thought the fact that they didn’t go out for dinner, to the movies or with other couples to socialize anymore, meant that GMac was saving up for “one hell of a diamond.” 

“When he mentioned needing to make a ‘big decision soon’ and ‘wanting to explore new possibilities’, I knew there and then it time to book the wedding organizer.  I can’t wait I’m so excited”, said Stape.

”He kept saying ‘you deserve to be happy’ and ‘there’s no point waiting around for me’ so I decided if there’s no point waiting for him, I would get the question in first; I knew he would love that”.

"Graeme’s been mooching around saying he’d like to move back to Northern Ireland where his family and friends are," Stape said. "If that’s not the talk of a man whose planning to settle down for the long haul, I don’t know what is."

Stape revealed McDowell has not formally invited her to move back to Irish soil, in the event that he does move—an omission Stape attributes to his fears that she may not want to go.

"He’s such a dote, always thinking about me, he goes on and on about how I'd hate the cold weather and the constant rain in Portrush," Stape said. "It’s wonderful how he always puts me first, he should realize that I would follow him to the ends of Earth."

More as it emerges.

 

Only messin’ GMac, we love ya and wish you both long life and happiness!

logo DP WORLD TOUR CHAMPIONSHIP, DUBAI, Jumeirah Golf Estates, Dubai, United Arab Emirates 22 Nov 2012 - 25 Nov 2012

With the great and the good of the European Tour headed once again for the Greg Norman’s Earth Course in Dubai for the end of season bash we preview just who might be heading home with the lions share of the €8 million bonanza on offer.

Ian Poulter 14/1

poult3 The average winning score on the Earth Course over the three stagings of the event has been 18 under. With undulating bermuda greens well within the scope of the field, the real key here is Greens In Regulation. Enter Ian Poulter, third in the GIR stats over the season and with a game designed to feature here. Fourth in Lake Malaren a few weeks back and the winner at the WGC HSBC Champions in Shenzen all augur well for a tilt on a similar course this week.

After tying ninth here in 2009, Poults battled Robert Karlsson all the way in 2010, just losing out in a playoff. Surely has big chances this week.

Peter Hanson 20/1

Peter Hanson is responsible for each of the season highlights and lowlights for me. After the pain of being inexplicably benched by Captain Olazabal on the Saturday of the Ryder Cup, Hanson played the shot of the season on his way to peter-hanson_afp_2381299b winning the BMW Masters. From what can only be described as a gynaelogical lie plugged deep in the grassy lip of a greenside bunker, Hanson played an impossibly wonderful shot to set up victory. That was the big Swede’s second win of the season after the KLM Open in September. And even more impressively, Peter’s six top 10’s besides have included the Masters, the US PGA and two WGC events.

Here at Jumeirah Estates, Hanson tied 9th in 2009 and tied 13th in 2010 before his best finish of fourth last season. He lead after a 64 in round one but rounds of 72 and 71 left him two much to do to catch eventual winner Alvaro Quiros, who incidentally didn’t make the field this season. Hanson is my nap of the week.

Lee Westwood 14/1

Lee-westwood1 If every player is a gamble and there are no guarantees, then Lee Westwood’s case is that little bit more complex. For me it’s quite simple with Lee, if he putts well for four days, he wins or podiums, if not he doesn’t. It seems right now that stringing four solid rounds together is a problem; a round in the 60’s is followed next day by one in the 70’s. For instance a 61 recently in Shenzen was followed by a 72 to drop him to sixth at the WGC HSBC Champions.

There’s no doubting that Lee remains a big threat though after top fives at the Barclays and BMW Championship (2nd) to end the PGA Tour season. Cruised to a six shot win here in 2009 and tied third the following season before a forgettable appearance last year. The question is can Westwood find his game this week? I believe from 14/1, it’s worth an each way flutter that he can.

Louis Oosthuizen 10/1

Oosthuizen blunder[4] Regular readers will see no surprise in my tipping Louis Oosthuizen this week. If Poults is good at hitting greens, then Louis is the undisputed champion of the world in a category that is vital to contend here. Arrives rested after a three week stint in Asia where he was never outside the top six and indeed almost won in Singapore, narrowly missing out in a playoff to Matteo Manassero.

Played well here last year to finish sixth after a slow start. If Louis can get a first round 68 or better under his belt this week, he certainly has the game and the form to win.

Best Of The Rest

This is where the fun starts for the long odds glory seekers!

Shane Lowry has a magical golf game that is working so well of late that he has to be considered great each way value from 50/1. Following his win at the Portugal Masters, Shane can go out there this week relaxed after a holiday in the area with his best mates and just shoot for the stars. Tied for eighth last year on his first visit and finished second in the greens in regulation stats for the week. I wish him all the best.

wood and beaker[5] Chris Wood 50/1 is enjoying a great end to his season after top 10’s in Singapore and Hong Kong where he produced a final round 63, his best of the season. His twitter followers will know that Chris has really put in a huge amount of work on his game of late, so it’s great to see it paying dividends. If confidence flowed like oil around Dubai, there will be nobody with more of it coursing through their veins than Chris this week.

Over the 100/1 bracket, the one name that jumps out at me is Joost Luiten at 125/1. He’s been in or around the top 30 in each of his last three events and so close to having a big week. Take his last appearance in Singapore for instance; Joost finished tied 29th on one under after shooting a 76 on Sunday. Had he shot a 68 in round four, like he did in rounds two and three, he would have tied fourth. So there’s really very little between being an also ran and in the big money. Add into the mix that Luiten won the Iskander Johor Open this time last year and my belief in the 365 day form cycle and you just never know!!!!

Favourites

I rarely break the 10/1 rule in these tipping previews but you should be aware of the bookies favourites. Rory starts at 11/2 (87.7% chance statistically) but I feel the season is starting to take it’s toll on the great man, he really needs a rest. Luke Donald is 9/1 (84.6% chance statistically) and brings, as always form into the event, winning in Japan last week after two top threes at the Tour Championship and the BMW Masters. Donald was sublime here last year, steaming through the field after the poor opening round of 72 to climb into third.

Course Info

Length: 7675 yards

Greens: Tifeagle Bermuda grass, 2.5mm, stimp 12'

Fairways and rough: Bermuda grass overseeded with Rye

Rough height: semi 40mm, rough 70mm

Generally wide fairways, 102 bunkers, 20 lakes and two meandering streams.

Previous Top 10’s

2011

1QUIROS AlvaroESP-1968647067269€ 922,645

2LAWRIE PaulSCO-1765736667271€ 615,094

3DONALD LukeENG-1672686666272€ 359,832

4HANSON PeterSWE-1464727167274€ 276,794

5SCHWARTZEL CharlRSA-1369716867275€ 221,435

6MOLINARI FrancescoITA-1271686869276€ 170,291

6OOSTHUIZEN LouisRSA-1272676671276€ 170,291

8LOWRY ShaneIRL-1169706870277€ 143,933

8ROCK RobertENG-1168697169277€ 143,933

10LARRAZÁBAL PabloESP-1071687069278€ 127,325

2010

1KARLSSON RobertSWE-1465756767274€ 910,349

2POULTER IanENG-1469666970274€ 606,897

3QUIROS AlvaroESP-1372676967275€ 314,070

3WESTWOOD LeeENG-1369677168275€ 314,070

5MCILROY RoryNIR-1271726667276€ 218,484

6CASEY PaulENG-1170677169277€ 168,021

6MOLINARI FrancescoITA-1171676871277€ 168,021

8JAIDEE ThongchaiTHA-968696973279€ 147,477

9DONALD LukeENG-874676970280€ 131,090

9NOH Seung-yulKOR-866737467280€ 131,090

2009

1WESTWOOD LeeENG-2366696664265€ 830,675

2McGOWAN RossENG-1771666668271€ 553,781

3MCILROY RoryNIR-1568696967273€ 323,963

4HARRINGTON PadraigIRL-1468696968274€ 224,282

4OGILVY GeoffAUS-1470696867274€ 224,282

6NOREN AlexanderSWE-1370696769275€ 162,095

7GARCIA SergioESP-1271676969276€ 139,553

7SCOTT AdamAUS-1268736768276€ 139,553

9HANSON PeterSWE-1072716669278€ 114,633

9JIMÉNEZ Miguel AngelESP-1072686969278€ 114,633

9POULTER IanENG-1071746865278€ 114,633

 

I’m pretty sure that Sun Young Yoo didn’t set out to cheat or break the rules but this has to rank as one of the worst attempts  at dropping a ball you are likely to see. Maybe in the pressure of the situation, she just wasn't paying attention.
Viewers tweeted in and the player received a penalty.
The Golf Channel's commentary is very sympathetic to her, I probably wouldn't be. Have a look and make up your own mind on this one.

Now this is what you call a team talk from college golf coach Matt Mahanic.  It kicks of at 1 min 55 sec but listen from the start as the tension builds. He’s happy with one guy but the other get the full treatment.  Tremendous!

"That is f*cking horrendous. Horrendous that nobody can shoot f*cking par on that golf course. That is the most f*cking embarrassed I've ever been in my life, having to walk around that fucking scoreboard and look at those other fucking coaches—F*cking 11 teams beat us this week! Eleven fucking teams! Goddamnit!"

"I gotta f*cking go up there and watch that bullshit you four call golf! Like watching f*cking paint dry! My dad looked and me and said, 'Why the f*ck are you recruiting these kids?'"

"I'm ready to lose my f*cking mind. There is no f*cking helping you! ...F*cking not a big deal, though. It's not a big deal. F*cking hunky-dory."

"We f*cking don't deserve shit. F*cking—we haven't broke 300 all year. Four f*cking chances in nice weather, and we haven't broken 300 yet. F*ck me."

"I don't want to hear a f*cking word out of anybody until we get back to Kentucky[?]. Put your f*cking headphones on, go to sleep, I don't give a shit. I had to watch you play golf for the last 54 f*cking holes. Please do not let me hear your f*cking voice right now."

Needless to say he got the sack!

 

Sultan Kösen, the world’s tallest man has reacted angrily today to the R&A’s proposed belly putter ban.  The Turkish giant told reporters “Just when I thought things were looking up, they go and ban the first putter that was actually the right length for me.  Look at me, I cant even bend over. My vertebrae are each the size of a loaf of bread. I need a bloody cane to walk for Allah’s sake.  I guess I’ll have to go back to kneeling down on the greens when putting, I don’t even know if that’s legal?”

Holding back tears the 8 foot 3 inch giant revealed “I just got a bed last year that my feet did not dangle out the end of, now I have to deal with this crap. It seems every time I take a step forward, I take two giant steps back.  Death to the west.”

sultan

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