Peter Dawson To Take Over From Late Brother Les as Host of Special Christmas Edition Of Blankety Blank

As part of the BBC Christmas schedule announced today, R&A chief Peter Dawson is set to reprise the role of host of the hit game show Blankety Blank held for many years by his late brother Les.

Speaking to reporters outside television centre whilst trying to stop a blue skittle falling out the side of his mouth Dawson said “I’m really happy to be taking over from Les, even if it is for just for a one off Christmas special. Our younger brother Matt, the ‘Question of Sport’ guy, has been really great at helping show me how to act like a complete fanny on TV.”

New BBC director general Worzel Gummage who took over from the guy who knew Jimmy Saville was kiddie fiddling for years and said nothing about it said “We’ve been trying to get Peter to do this for ages.  He’s really well known for entertaining gentlemen in the private members bar at St Andrews with his impromptu gurning displays when all the pole dancing finishes around 2am.”

Dawson agreed to do the Special after the BBC said he could personally choose the six celebrity panellists who will help with the traditional fill-in-the-blank statements.

“Obviously we needed someone funny looking so I chose Mike Davis from the USGA.  Someone drove a flymo down the middle of that guys head, it’s hilarious!  We needed a know-it-all: Ewan Murray, a complete and utter bullshitter who himself is completely oblivious to the fact: Bruce Critchley, a really good looking woman: Laura Davies, someone who can talk the hind legs off a donkey: Padraig Harrington and someone who just looks really really pale and creepy but who you cant help feeling sorry for: Robert Lee.

Blankety Blank became famous for it’s double entendre questions, a tradition which Dawson hopes to keep alive.

“I’ve been busy working on questions all week,” the portly frontman said out of the corner of his mouth.  “So far I’ve come up with

‘Did you catch a glimpse of Colin Montgomerie on the tee?  He has to have the world's biggest pair of  _________.’

and

‘I met Keegan Bradley yesterday.  He wanted to shove his belly putter so far up my _________________ I’d be tasting grip for a week.’

Contestants on the Christmas Special are set to be wealthy businessmen flown in from Asia and The Emirates.  In a subtle tweak to the original show, when presented with the Blankety Blank cheque book and pen, they will  be required to fill in the cheques and present them back to the European Tour.  The biggest cheque wins.

The Blankety Blank Christmas Special will be shown on Christmas Day on BBC1 before Cat hits gouged in the face with a broken bottle in Eastenders and Del Boy and Rodders do Batman and Robin in Only Fool ‘n Horses.

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The Seve Cocktail

Today sees the start of the 2012 Seve Legends Tournament at Pebble Beach.  Over the years the great man has been honoured in many ways but this year to coincide with the event which helps raise awareness and funds for the Seve Ballesteros Foundation, expert cocktail waiter and Seve fan Damien Higgins has created a very special Seve cocktail.

How to make Seve Ballesteros “Al Rojo Vivo”

Ingredients: 150 ml Rioja Crianza, 15 ml PX Sherry, 15 ml Apple Brandy , 2 bar spoons Seville Orange Marmalade, 3 dashes Spanish Bitters

Add all ingredients into a Boston Shaker and fill with cubed ice. Shake well for about 10 seconds and then strain into a red wine goblet. Fill with cubed and then crushed ice and garnish lavishly with orange, red apple and mint.

Social and Cocktail says:

Especially constructed in the memory of Seve Ballesteros, the fiery spice of the good quality wine is complimented by the sweet, raisiny, mixed spice of the sherry and the chamomile, citrus and raspberry of the small batch Spanish bitters. To give balance and texture the marmalade gives a sweet acidity and the brandy brings strength and balances the bitterness of the marmalade and bitters.

The drink itself is based on the Spanish Sangria and the traditional mixed drink the Cobbler. The deep red colour reflects Seve’s passion and fiery nature, and the lavish garnish his flamboyance and skill. The garnish itself has meaning; with the orange represent the orange influence in the cocktail as well as a famous Spanish export, like Seve. The apple also tells you what you will find in the drink as well as representing his home region of Cantabria. The mint represents the fairways and greens he was so proficient on and gives the drink aroma. The drink as a whole is imposing, just as Seve was, with great height and colour.

 

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David Lynn Left Devastated After R&A Ban Enormous Shoulders

English prankster David Lynn, runner up at the US PGA Championship just a few short months ago, is this evening left facing the prospect of a future without golf thanks to a heretofore glossed over paragraph in yesterday’s R&A anchoring ban communiqué.

The final part of the letter bans, from January 1st 2013, any player whose shoulders, tip to tip, exceed one metre in length.  Players with outrageously large shoulders resembling those of a cow, are deemed to have a decided advantage when putting, as opposed to normal human beings.

R&A Chief Peter Dawson, who always looks like he’s lost control of something in his mouth, like a polo mint, said “The only player that this ban is going to affect is David Lynn and if you take into account the world’s entire population of golfers, that’s really nobody. Not calling Mr.Lynn nobody for a second.”

Lynn was born with a disease called “Linebackers Syndrome” which manifests itself in the form of shoulders resembling an NFL players’ when fully kitted out.  Other symptoms include being just a small bit daft.

If he wants to continue his golf career, the only option open now to Stoke’s third most famous over 38 year old is an excruciatingly painful scapular reduction operation followed by up to a year of rehabilitation.  Even then the risk is large, with 50% of patients unable to ever shrug again let alone play golf.

“It’s like a huge weight has been placed on my, what’s the word, oh yeah shoulders”, said Lynn “all that’s left for me is to send in the old CV to Sky Sports and see if they’ll give me a job.  Then again, a life sat next to Bruce Critchley makes me think I should chance the operation. Oh I don't know what to do, I’m a mess.”

More as it emerges.

 

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Legends Unite In Protest Over Belly Putter Ban

Technorati Tags: Keegan Bradley Belly Putter Funny Pic

Video: The Idiots Guide To The Belly Putter Ban

The text of The Ban. No Snoozing!

Well Holy Shit, They’ve Even Made A Chart!

Just in case we couldn’t figure it out, the USGA have made us a friggin’ chart.

Technorati Tags: belly putter ban chart

Official Wording Of The Belly Putter Ban

RE: Joint Ruling on the Anchored Putting Stroke

Dear Golf Lovers:

After much consultation between ourselves and Donald Trump, we at the R&A have today agreed and ratified a set of regulations regarding the use of anchoring belly putters.We are conscious that some of these regulations may not be popular for the many who have become accustomed to using long putters anchored in some manner (or ‘cheats’ as they are often referred to),but we can assure them our intentions throughout were always to return the game to the fundamental way it was first played in Scotland in the 15th century.

To view the full letter on the Back9Network please click here

What’s In The Bag 2013 Miguel Angel Jimenez

Congrats to Miguel on his latest win.  Here’s what’s in the Jimenez bag heading into the 2013 season.

Here’s another version!

2012 World Challenge Betting Preview and Tips

2012 World Challenge Betting Preview and Tips

odds from paddypower

Looking for a unique present this Christmas? Check out my GMac Tour Apparel.

Bo Van Pelt 14/1

Tied for 10^th in his only appearance here in 2011 but enters this year on the back of some stellar late season form. Second to Watney at the CIMB Classic in Malaysia at the end of October and winner of the ISPS Handa Perth International after a great battle with Jason Dufner. A few weeks have passed but at 14/1 in a limited field of 18, this looks to be where the value lies, each way.

 

Jim Furyk 14/1

Jim’s lack of length won’t be an issue on the short (7052 yards) Sherwood Country Club. The course demands precision from the tee and pinpoint iron play which should suit Jim’s game perfectly. An ever present over the last five stagings, Furyk’s worst finish is 11^th in 2010, his best is winning in 2009, with a T6 in 2011, T5 in 2008 and 3^rd in 2007.

Add to that three consecutive top-10’s at the McGladrey (3^rd), the Tour championship and the BMW at the end of the PGA Tour season and Jim also looks a good each way bet.

 

Hunter Mahan 18/1

It has been a season of highs in the WGC Matchplay and Houston and one of lows after being passed over for the Ryder Cup for Hunter but a top 10 at the Tour Championship showed there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hunter’s accuracy off the tee means he’s regularly in the mix here with top five finishes in three out the last four years. A generous 18/1.

Best Of The Rest

Ian Poulter 14/1 is coming off some great form with a fourth at Lake Malaren before winning the WGC HSBC in China and though he didn’t feature atop the leaderboard at the DP World Championship remains one to watch this week. Tied 6^th in 2010 and T5 in 2009 in his lat two appearances in this event.

GMac 20/1 was utterly frustrated with the Earth Course last week which just didn’t suit his eye. Sherwood on the other hand is right up his alley. A winner here in 2010 beating Tiger in a playoff capped off a memorable season then, a repeat this year would be sweet. Recently engaged to Kristin, will he be able to focus is the big question?

Technorati Tags: 2012 World Challenge Betting Preview and Tips,top pga tour tipster,paddypower golf betting tips,newstalk Golf Weekly Podcast

Military Intelligence Finally Pinpoints Reason For Taliban Resurgence

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Richard Gillot Impersonating Miguel Angel Jimenez and Joey Barton Impersonating Allo Allo!

If you have never seen Richard Gillot in action check this out.

If you have never seen Joey Barton in action check this out.

Technorati Tags: Miguel Angel Jimenez Swing Imitation,Richard Gillot,Joey Barton Video

Wiggins Versus McIlroy in Vote for 2012 BBC Sports Personality May Come Down To Most Ridiculous Hairstyle

Just weeks after the Jimmy Saville fiddling controversy, the BBC are faced with another potentially embarrassing headache on the eve of the 2012 Sports Personality of the Year Awards.

In a unique twist of fate this year, more than one UK citizen, including an Englishman actually won something during 2012, raising questions as to whether a real  voting system will be required to replace Irene in HR who normally counts the votes.

“We’ve never really had to have more than Irene taking votes or counting texts for SPOTY on a ‘ready to go’ mobile because all our sports stars are usually rubbish”, BBC spokesman Des Lynam said today. “It’s normally pretty clear who should win, we just pick the least bad from a terrible lot.”

Instead this year Rory McIlroy from Northern Ireland, Mo Farah from Africa somewhere, Andy Murray from Scotland, Bradley Wiggins actually from England and the lad who won the long jump replace regular losers David Haye, Michael Owen, Tom Daley and David Beckham as contenders for the top prize.

With Andy Murray announcing he couldn’t be arsed even showing up many analysts now believe it will boil down to a straight contest between Wiggins and McIlroy with Gary Lineker and Sue Barker set to decide the winner via an elaborate vote rigging scam.  While both have amazing hair, Sue Barker is set to have the deciding vote as longest serving inmate at the asylum.

Wiggins is the bookies early favourite as he has incredible definition in his locks.  Reports that McIlroy will only accept the top prize if Caroline Wozniacki receives the Best Oversees Sports Star Award, are as yet unconfirmed.

 

Technorati Tags: 2012 BBC Sports Personality Of The Year,2012 SPOTY,Rory McIlroy,How To Vote

GMac Tour Issue Apparel. Grab A Unique Present From Doc’s Christmas Golf Shop

For those of you who are new to this, every Christmas I team up with my clothing sponsor Kartel to bring you a few really cool items which would make unique Christmas presents.
Last year we had Padraig Harrington Tour apparel, which made for Christmas presents in Ireland, the UK, Austria, Germany and the USA.  This year we have three Tour issue Graeme McDowell items from this, the first year of his GMac for Kartel range.
These three items are genuine Tour issue complete with sponsors logos from Graeme’s clothing room at the Kartel HQ in Dublin. You will not find them anywhere else except on the man himself.
Selling on a first come first served basis. Payment by paypal or by cash in Ireland, and I’ll post anywhere (within reason) for free using national post.  I along with Kartel guarantee the items as 100% genuine Tour issue and offer money back if not satisfied.

To purchase please contact me on examinerspindoc@eircom.net. Please no tyre kickers, these are exclusive items.

1. GMac Tour Issue Black/Orange Polo Shirt

Size: Medium, though this would easily fit a large.95% Cotton,5% Elastane
Logo’s: Mastercard (collar), Aol (chest) Audamars Piguet and Marquisjet (sleeves).

• Pima Cotton: Extremely Soft for Superior Luxury
• Button Down Two Piece Collar, with Four Button Plackette
• Chest Pocket
• Contrast Colour Button Holes and Button Thread
• UV Cut: Up to Factor 30 from Sun's Harmful Rays
• Absorbtec & Anti Microbial: Quick Drying Shirt Action and Helps Prevent Unpleasant Odours

Cost including postage: €155

 

3. GMac Tour Issue Black Rain Jacket

Size: Medium.

• Logos:Mastercard (collar), Aol (chest) Audamars Piguet and Marquisjet (sleeves).
• Ultra light rain top.
• Full Zip
• Breathable, waterproof, seam-sealed
• This is short sleeved made for Graeme as opposed to pro shop version which has removable sleeves.
• Guaranteed waterproof for minimum three years.

Cost Including Postage: €195

3. SOLD GMac Tour Issue Blue Polo Shirt SOLD

Size: Medium, though this would easily fit a large. 95% Cotton,5% Elastane
Logo’s: Mastercard (collar), Verizon (chest) Audamars Piguet and GMac for Kartel (sleeves).

• Pima Cotton: Extremely Soft for Superior Luxury
• Button through Two Piece Collar
• Chest Pocket
• Buttons, Button Holes and Button Thread. Subtle Contrast Sleeve Tipping
• UV Cut: Up to Factor 30 from Sun's Harmful Rays
• Dry Tec & Anti Microbial: Shirt Moisture Evaporates Faster and Helps Prevent Unpleasant Odours

Cost including postage: €165

A donation for the sales will be made to my chosen charity, The Jack and Jill Foundation.  To find out more about the work they do please click here.

Technorati Tags: Unique Golf Christmas Present,GMac For Kartel,Tour issue Golf Clothing

Ireland’s Golf Gathering 2013. If Coming You Might Want To Check Out Rosapenna

If you’re thinking of coming to Ireland for The Gathering in 2013 and are bringing your clubs take some personal advice from the Doc. I wan’t you to have a super golf vacation, not trudge down the same conveyor belt as all the other tourists.
The Rosapenna Hotel & Golf Resort in North-West Donegal is seriously worth considering as a base for your golf holiday.  Why?

1. Rosapenna Golf

Rosapenna have two top class courses, the Old Tom Morris Links and the Sandy Hills Links, another 9 hole course “Coastguard Nine”, a par 3 course and a top class practice facility.  Just last week they acquired two Jack Nicklaus links courses adjoining their own along the picturesque Sheephaven Bay to become the largest links golf destination in Europe.
That’s a whopping 81 links golf holes without ever having to start your car.
Here’s a link to my lay mans review of Sandy Hills when I visited last year.
Apart from the Rosapenna courses you’re in a golfing mecca in the North and West coast with several top links courses within minutes drive.  Click here to view other courses in the North West area.
For the non golfer’s there’s a tonne of stuff to do and sights to see in Donegal too. I bring my wife and four kids up every year for a break, we love it. And no, I’m not get paid anything to write this!

2. The Destination

You see Golf tourists travelling to Ireland don't instinctively head to the North and West coast of Ireland.  Only the discerning ones that do their research know that up North West, the golf is excellent, there is no congestion and you can expect to play for a fraction of the cost of the marquee courses elsewhere.
The Old Tom Links at Rosapenna is now ranked No.34 in Golf Digest Ireland’s Top 100 Course List. The newer championship course, the Sandy Hills Links, designed by Pat Ruddy has just been ranked No.42 in Great Britain & Ireland’s Top 100 List by Golf Monthly Magazine 2012; an effective ranking of 10^th in Ireland.

3. The Perfect Base

  Base yourself with the Casey Family in their four star 66 bedroom hotel with leisure centre and adjoining Golf Pavilion.  It’s a beautiful little hotel with great food, amazing food and a warm family welcome. Here’s a link to the hotel.
You can walk to all the on site golf and the other courses are just a short hop away.
To find out more about the Rosapenna Hotel click here.
So there it is, some Gathering 2013 advice from the Doc.  If you are coming to Ireland and need more advice please feel to contact me through the comments box.  And if I’m free, I’ll join in Rosapenna next year for a round.

A History Lesson

George O’Grady Makes Shock Announcement That European Tour Office Is To Remain In England

It stinks, it stinks, it stinks to high Heaven.

In the same breath as George O’Grady spoke about a “challenging economic climate”, he announced a near €19 million Final Series of four events in China, Turkey and Dubai.  Okay you cant blame the Tour for embracing the big money events, and you cant blame the new venues and sponsors for wanting to host events but George should call it for what it is, a selling out of mainland Europe.  The only part of the European Tour that seems to be guaranteed is their office in England.

In case you missed the European Tour have announced changes to the format of the season for 2013. The Race To Dubai will now include a final series of four massive money events totalling almost €19 million to end the season. And for all the guys out in Catalunya battling to get their card; these events are only for the top 60.

Are any of these big money events in Europe I hear you cry? Not a snowballs chance. Two are set for China (at the BMW Masters, WGC-HSBC Champions) one in Turkey (Turkish Open) and then the final DP World Championship at Jumeirah Estates in Dubai.

Mainland Europe gets the flick like a piece of crusty snot hanging from O’Grady’s nose. 

Rather, they seem to have focussed on attempting to gather the “European” elite players for a series of tournaments to end the season. The calendar fits in with the Fed Ex Cup allowing PGA defectors such as McIlroy, Westwood, Kaymer and co to make it look like they actually still play on their home Tour.

And O’Grady didn’t deny the move might entice the likes of Tiger Woods to take up European Tour membership next season.

Players can only make the final if they play in two of the first three Final Series events; if they play all three, the get a 20% Race To Dubai points bonus which will be added to their total before the final.

The new, play two of three rule, is a reaction to Rory McIlroy opting to forego an appearance at the WGC HSBC Champions in favour of a one day money match with Tiger Woods and a trip to Bulgaria to watch Caroline lose a tennis match (aka the chance of a ride).

A look at the 2013 Tour Schedule makes pretty shocking reading with the least ever number of events ever in Europe. South Africa is the biggest beneficiary with six tournaments scheduled. England and Ireland both have just one event as has Spain which is the biggest loser with five events ditched.

Technorati Tags: 2013 European Tour Schedule,George O'Grady