FOLLOWING news of new European Tour slow play monitoring penalty of €2,600 per offence comes news that chief referee John Paramor has purchased an exclusive €10.3 million property in the hills of Monaco, GolfCentralDaily has learned.

Paramor Posing Outside His €10 Million Mansion

“I needed to strike while the iron was hot so I said feck it I'll take it," the highly respected referee said.  "I figure I have a guaranteed revenue stream every week on the European Tour from slow play fines so happy days for me.  I reckon if I smash out 10 fines a week I'll have it paid off in jig time."

Asked if he felt bad profiting from other people's misfortune Paramor laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Do I feck!" he grumbled. "Those assholes wouldn't get fined at all if they weren't so bloody slow and besides they are all saying they wont even notice €2,600 missing from their pay cheque at the end of the week.  One guy said a one shot penalty would hurt more than money.  But I couldn't buy a fecking lush pad with a bunch of one shot penalties now could I?"

European Tour boss Keith Pelley has yet to comment on Paramor's purchase.  He is expected back from Australia next week where he is appearing in panto with Christopher Biggins.


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