The European Tour is secretly hoping Robert Allenby get smashed drunk and fake kidnapped again tonight, then plays rubbish tomorrow at the Perth World Super 20/20 Tournament, sources have revealed.

Robert Allenby Funny Pic
No sign of Allenby being bundled into the back of any car yet in Perth.

An anonymous source within the Tour has disclosed that officials are crapping themselves at the prospect of Allenby winning their super shiny great new tournament and absolutely ruining everything.

"You know, the European Tour has a lot riding on the new format this week, where the guys play three rounds and then whoever scores the most runs in a game of 20/20 cricket wins, so it would be such an awful fcuking pity, if at the end of an exciting week, Allenby turns out to be the winner," said a high ranking Tour source peering out over his coloured glasses.  "We'd all look like fcuking idiots wouldn't we?"

Allenby is currently in a tie for 17th position after two rounds, just six shots off the lead, and whorehouses and winebars around Perth have, as yet, not reported any late night sightings.

"We've sent up a crate of decent Cabernet Sauvignon to his hotel room just there now," said the Tour source with a knowing wink. "We are hoping that does the trick."

More as it emerges.

Related Video:

The time the caddie sacked Allenby.

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