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Celebrations at the European Tour headquarters continued this morning after the PGA Tour suffered its second boring as shit week in a row.

Champagne flowed at European Tour HQ in Surrey late into the night as Andrew somebody won something somewhere hot with cowboy boots on or something boring like that on the PGA Tour.

"It's party time here guys; we even heard reports last night that people turned off the golf to watch Indian league cricket highlights which is a real boost for the European Tour!" Euro Tour chief Keith Pelley told reporters this morning. "I'm telling you......if US golf continues at this level of shitness, or becomes more shit, there's a chance, albeit a small one, but I'm an eternal optimist here, that the PGA Tour could become more shit than the European Tour and then we'll be better than them.  But as we all know, shit is a remarkably fluid business." 

Pelley was speaking from China, where golf is outlawed and courses are being bulldozed, ahead of this weeks Volvo China Open which will take place on a basketball court outside Beijing.

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A minute's silence in honour of country singing legend Big Tom is to be led by Rory McIlroy and Paul McGinley at the re-opening of Adare Manor golf course tomorrow.

Having been postponed due to three days of national mourning in Ireland, the World Number 7 is set to jet in from Florida to take on Shane Lowry and Padraig Harrington in a three-ball exhibition match at the Limerick venue tomorrow morning to officially open the new course, launch the 2020 JP McManus Pro-Am and pay tribute to Big Tom.  Paul McGinley, with his new hairdo, will also be present to drive along in a buggy and captain Rory.  Both McIlroy and McGinley paid tribute to Big Tom in the run-up to tomorrows showpiece.

"Big Tom was a great man to pick a tune," said McIlroy from his Jupiter home today.  "I used to sneak in to the dances in the ballrooms of Belfast to get the shift and got to know him well. We actually had Big Tom, Margo and Stevie Wonder flown in to sing Tom's first ever number 1 hit 'Broken Marriage Vows' as the first dance at our wedding in Ashford Castle last year. He just lit up every room he walked into; smoked like a train he did."
Paul McGinley, who had his lovely new brown hair styled like Big Tom, also paid tribute to the Country and Western star who passed away earlier this week.

"I remember Sam Torrance had Big Tom brought in to sing for us at The Belfry during the Ryder Cup in 2002.  Tom was doing a gig for some big Italian mafia boss out in The Maldives with U2 and Mick Jagger at the time, but Sam insisted in having him brought back to sing the 'Four Country Roads' as we headed out to play the singles matches.  It was unreal.  In fact it made such an impression on me that when I became Captain for Gleneagles in 2014, I had Big Tom and The Travellers in the Team Room on the Friday night, Big Tom and The Mainliners on the Saturday and Big Tom and Coldplay on the last night. Cost the Tour about five million but Jesus it was epic. Victor Dubuisson was obsessed with him, had all his records. He'll be sadly missed.  Big Tom was that popular in Ireland that pretty much every song he re-recorded became a number 1 hit single."

More as it emerges.

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You have been voting in your thousands for the best of 10 years of GolfCentralDaily funnies and in the GolfBabes Category this "Paula Creamer Boob Pop Out" pic from 2013 was your winner of the Funniest Pic with 47% of the vote.

Funniest Pic Ever Winner: Paula Creamer 

There was no photoshop involved!  I think it was the 2013 Solheim Cup and maybe Paula wanted to inspire her teammates. Or maybe put the opposition off.

Or it might just have been a trick of the light and her teammates elbow!

Funniest Runner Up: Sarah Stirk Caught Cold

I have never seen McGinners or Butch looking so happy! Brrrr.  The Sky Sports anchor got 26% of the vote at the US Open.

Honorable Mention: Paige Spiranac Boobery

Old Paige has been on GCD more times than anyone else over the years.  She is the master of boobery. They are always getting in the way. And you voted her into third place despite not having a funny pic at all.  There's no possible way you get boobs into this camera angle....right?  Wrong.  18% of the vote.

A video posted by Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) on

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2018 Valero Texas Open Betting Preview And Tips

TPC San Antonio (ATT Oaks), San Antonio, Texas
Par: 72 / Yardage: 7,435
Purse: $6.2 million with $1,116,000 to the winner
Defending Champion: Kevin Chappell

Favourite Watch

The Hoff. Like a lad you'd see diggin' a ditch!

Sergio Garcia tops the betting in Texas at 12/1 but in the win only category you have to be enticed by an on the nose flutter on Charley Hoffman at 18/1.  He's been simmering through the Arnie (T14) and Masters (T12), threw in a nice 66 at Harbour Town last week and literally has his own personal cash machine on the gable wall of the clubhouse here.  Winner of the event in 2016 and three other top-3 finishes since 2011.

Doc's Top 5 Each Way Bets

Billy Horschel 33/1

The time Billy got the lampshade to stop him licking his own balls.

Hear me now.  Billy Ho may have more missed cuts than a blind barber but when he finds it, as he did with a T5 last week in South Carolina, he generally rides that wave.  Especially so when he's coming back to a tournament in which he has three top-4 finishes in the last five years.

Chesson Hadley 40/1

Chesson Hadley......Tony Hadley. Close enough

Chesson Hadley is going along very nicely this season on Tour and added to his best of T5 in Phoenix with a solid T7 at the RBC Heritage last week.  He might have been unhappy with a final round 72 but has a chance to compete again on his fourth visit to the Texas Open.  Best of T4 here in 2015.

Brendan Steele 33/1

Muscle and blood, skin and bone.....Nooooo. Steel baby!

Missed the cut at The Masters but Brendan Steele is one of THE most consistent top-30 merchants on Tour week in week out.  Already a winner during the wraparound 2018 season he is an ever present at this event since winning on his debut in 2011.  Two top-10's since.

Pat Perez 40/1

Double P doing his happy face.

Double P returns to the Texas Open for the first time since 2015 and has three top-10's in his nine visits dating back to 2002.  Form has tailed off since early season but be assured Pat's stats every week are that of a winner; it's the six inches between the ears that get manifested through bogeys.  Having said that this is a course he putts extremely well on so well worth a look.

Luke List 25/1

Luke many pun possibilities but wont even bother.

Everybody is waiting for Luke List to pop his PGA Tour cherry with a win and we want to have him backed when he does!  Never mind his crappy record from three starts in San Antonio; now that he's figured out the Tour game at 33 he's battled Justin Thomas in a playoff at The Honda, been T7 at Bay Hill and finished T3 again last week.  Surely….surely….

Long Odds Glory

Ryan Palmer 50/1

Ryan owns Texas.

Terrible form of late but Ryan Palmer is a Texas boy and he's gives this one his all every year.  Top six in the last three stagings and though winless since 2010 showed at the Farmers this year (lost playoff with Noren to Day) that on his day he can still contend.

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I was sent this video at the weekend of a PGA Latino America player lining up his putter using his fingers on the head and then stepping back to examine the line while the putter stayed up by itself.

Is this cheating?  It would seem not.

I've seen this type of putter before.  Retief Goosen used one on Tour and Ernie Els uses (or used to use) one too.  They are called a Bloodline putter and its a weighted mallet balanced so that it can stand by itself, with the benefit that the player to stand behind it and line it up correctly.

It's perfectly legal and a great idea.

However in the video, this player goes one step further to align the head with his fingers from behind.  I've never seen this done and am unaware if its covered in the rules of golf at all.

Answers please in the comment box!!

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Good news from the USGA today is that Tiger Woods has successfully entered the 2018 U.S. Open without injuring anything.

Surrounded by his medical team Woods managed to successfully shoot off an email to the USGA stating that he intends to play at Shinnecock Hills on June 14th.  An MRI immediately after confirmed after that he didn't suffer any further injury to his back or to his troublesome wrist whilst typing.

Tiger Woods Taking A Dump With A Member Of Wiping Team.
"We are very happy with Tiger's progress," said Woods surgeon Dr. Nicholas Riviera. "His improvement since we sawed out the nobbily bit hitting up against the stringy bit has been astounding and if he continues his progress at this rate he'll be not only winning events but able wipe his own arse again within six months or so."

Having last won at Torrey Pines in 2008, Woods enters the last of his 10 year US Open exemption but its the feeling of controlling the toilet paper around his anus using his own hand after a dump that Woods wants most.

"I haven't wiped my own hole since 2015,"  Woods revealed exclusively to GolfCentralDaily.  "The pain was too great. I just couldn't do that reach around and under wiping motion without spasm.  Even left handed though that feels super weird. I have my own wipers but it's not the same.  It always feels like they've left a bit of poo sticking on, even when they say it is all gone and take photos on their phones to show me. At this stage I'd trade my 14 Majors just to be able to get extra loo roll layers on my fingers to doubly mop that troublesome splash area between my hole and ball sack."

More as it emerges.

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Is Patrick Reed's membership of the European Tour some kind of Rick and Morty parallel universe thing or am I really seeing him leading the 2018 European Tour Race To Dubai?

The ET site this morning hails Reed saying.....

The win saw the two-time Ryder Cup star pick up 1,980,000 Race to Dubai points which takes his season tally to 2,216,000 and sees him move from 31st to first place in the Race to Dubai Rankings.

So he's suddenly over a million points of last week's leader Shubhankar Sharma who actually plays on the Tour?

Reed's membership of the European Tour has flummoxed me since 2015 when some secret loophole allowed the "Presidents Cup" (USA vs Rest Of World) to count as a European Tour event to bring his total number of starts to the magic number 13 and retain his card.

In 2016 Reed is listed as playing 8 times in ranking events, ONCE in a regular European Tour event at the Scottish Open.

In 2017 Reed played 12 times, not 13 again, (T19 in Germany, missed the cut in Scotland and The Open) and yet retained a 2018 card. President's Cup again perhaps?

Can somebody please explain how this works?  I've been at this over 10 years now and it still baffles the hell out of me.

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2018 RBC Heritage Betting Preview And Tips

April 12th – 15th, 2018
Harbour Town G.L., Hilton Head, South Carolina
Par: 71 / Yardage: 7,099
Purse: 6.7 million with $1,206,000 to the winner
Defending Champion: Wesley Bryan
Last week Masters Tips: Jordan Spieth 16/1 e/w, Cam Smith 125/1 e/w
Betting tips
Add caption

Favourite Watch

Dustin Johnson heads the betting at 8/1 with Paul Casey next on 12's.  But what about Matt Kuchar at 20/1? The 2014 winner has not been outside the top-11 here in three visits since and remains a threat.  Showed promise with a first round 68 at Augusta but realistically his chances ended with the rain and soft conditions; Kuch needed the course to be difficult to contend.  This week in South Carolina is different, it’s a 7100 yard par 70, one of the few courses where Kuch's lack of distance is not exposed.  I think he'll be secretly lining this week up as one to make a big push.

Doc's Top 5 Best Bets At The 2018 RBC Heritage.

Cameron Smith 28/1

Cam. Baby faced assassin.

Impressed me so much with his T5 Augusta and was one of my long odds tips at 125/1.  Cam's strengths of iron play and putting stood out last week and he played the par-3's, 4's and 5's cumulatively under par which is mighty impressive.  A PGA Tour win now would be richly deserved.  Two previous appearances here in the top-30 (T29 2017, T15 2015).

Charley Hoffman 40/1

The Hoff.

Comes into the event on somewhat of a high after a T14 at Bay Hill and T12 at The Masters including that gravity defying hole in one on the 16th.  Rounds of 69 and 67 at Augusta highlighted Charley's immense ball striking skills and if he can have one good putting week he can win.  Mixed record at the venue with a best of T6 in 2013. 

Adam Hadwin 33/1

Started very brightly with a 69 at The Masters but struggled after on the greens which dropped him back.  Hadwin's stats however are still trending upwards and when it comes to ball striking tee to green on Tour there are few better.  And a course where names like Furyk, Kuchar, Snedeker and co have already won that makes a good case for the Canadian's chances.  Top-15 in three of his last four starts.

Patrick Cantlay 33/1

Many people's outside fancy for a place at The Masters, it didn't happen for Patrick Cantlay, but he will head on to Harbour Town relatively fresh compared to many of the favourites.  T3 here last year thanks largely to an excellent putting performance and capitalizing on the par-3's.  On a lower key week like this, Cantlay can bag a second win of the season.

Webb Simpson 33/1

T5 at the Honda, T8 at The Valspar and T20 at The Masters including two eagles and 15 birdies show that Webb Simpson is most definitely a force again.  That's thanks in the main due to his rebirth with the putter with which he has averaged 112 putts in his last four starts and amassed .795 strokes gained putting; 10th on Tour.  Lost a playoff to GMac here in 2013 and was T11 last year.

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Alan Shipnuck is one of the best golf writers in the business and he tells the story of how Pat Reed fell out with his parents in

The report starts confusingly with a big Masters party at The Reed family home, just three miles away from Augusta, with parents Bill and Jeanette hugging each when estranged son Pat won. "It was a dizzying mix of pride and pain," says Shipnuck.

Bill and Jeanette Reed
Bill and Jeanette Reed

The report goes on to describe a brash cocky kid, who grew up practicing hard, but partied like it was 1999 when he first experienced college life. A change of Uni, prodigious golf talent, retained on teams though teammates didn't want him is also described.

But what happened to drive such a wedge between him and his parents?

The answer seems to be Reed's wife Justine, four years his senior.  When the pair decided to get married when Pat was 22, his parents expressed "misgivings."

The advice was not well received and Bill and Jeannette (and Hannah Pat's younger sister) were not invited to the wedding and Patrick cut off contact with his family, instead surrounding himself with Justine's people: her brother Kessler took over caddying duties; her sister, Kris, served as a nanny for the Reeds' daughter Windsor Wells; mom Janet regularly travels with the family, acting as a kind of chief of staff and helping with her granddaughter and grandson Barrett, who was born in December 2017.
Since then there has been no communication between Pat and his parents.  If anything the animosity has grown.

A friend of Bill and Jeannette's had extra tickets to the 2014 U.S. Open, so with some trepidation, they went to Pinehurst No. 2 and followed Patrick throughout the second round, hoping to perhaps reestablish contact and meet their granddaughter for the first time. Justine was also in the gallery, but no words were exchanged. Walking up the 18th hole, Bill, Jeannette and Hannah were surrounded by police officers. They ultimately were escorted off the grounds and had their tournament badges confiscated by a USGA official who, according to Jeannette, said he was acting on Justine's wishes.

Maybe Justine had a valid reason?  Maybe she thought his parent s showing up during a golf tournament might put her husband off his work.

Not really according to Shipnuck.

There is a semi endorsement in there from Daniel Berger.  But quickly qualified with something negative like "To be honest, he doesn't really play with the guys during practice rounds. He's always by himself."

Its a cracking read.

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Patrick Reed played some amazing golf to win his Masters title but it's difficult to be a fan. I'm not doing the love in. Go to all the other golf sites for that.

Reed annoyed me last month when he argued with officials over a drop.  He invoked the name of Jordan Spieth as someone who would have gotten a free drop in similar circumstances.  That wasn't good form. Here's the video.

This was one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard an angry player say.

I wasn't happy a few years ago when Reed used a loophole to retain his European Tour card.

Then there was Shhhhh..... But that was nothing really.

But don't act like a dick in a normal matchplay event.

But that's nothing compared to allegations of cheating and theft at college.

Stephanie Wei (a must read) has talked to one of Reed's college teammates Josh Gregory, who detailed cheating at college.

"Sitting at a long table with Gregory at one end and Reed at the other, the group went over both of his practice rounds hole-by-hole, and found that Reed's stated score had been incorrect on both occasions.
"Reed reacted defensively, and when the teammates advised him to admit that he'd been shaving scores on purpose—since they'd respect him more if he was honest—he refused, and became angry. He was especially aggressive with the teammate from the first round, who was described as 'easily the nicest guy on the team.'"
Wei also spoke to Jason Payne, who coached Reed in college at Georgia, and references "character issues".

Patrick Reed has established himself as one of the best players in the world of golf and I wish him nothing but the best both personally and professionally. While getting to know Patrick through the recruiting process as a coach, a few character issues came to light, that we as coaches thought we could help Patrick with. Once Patrick was on campus for a few months, it became clear that Patrick was not going to mesh with the make up of the team at that time, and he was dismissed from the team.
There is no doubting the ability of Patrick as a golfer, it was Patrick as a person that we chose not to associate with. The story that has been reported by Shane Ryan is an accurate account of his college career at UGA—including the suspicions held by his former teammates. I am sure Patrick has learned from his past and is now the best individual, golfer, husband, and father he can be.
There's a lot more of this story to play out; only the sleeves have unraveled yet.

All these accusations are also in Shane Ryan's book, Slaying the Tiger: A Year Inside the Ropes on the New PGA Tour.

Then there was the 2014 U.S. Open at Pinehurst, where Reed had police remove his own parents, Bill and Jeannette, off the grounds and their badges taken off them. He hasn't spoken to them since. Or his sister

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Pope Francis led millions of worshippers in prayer at the Vatican this morning that Patrick Reed doesn't ruin The Masters for everybody by winning it.

In his eulogy during a special Mass the Pontiff told the congregation that we have suffered through great wars, natural disasters, famine and catastrophes but Patrick Reed winning the Masters would be the final fucking straw.

Pope Francis went on to urge any Catholics attending the Masters over the weekend to try to tackle Reed to the ground, pour Holy Water on him and shout ‘the power of Christ compels you’ fifty times whilst holding a wooden cross in front of his face.

More as it emerges.

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Sergio Garcia allayed fears for his mental health after taking 13 on a par-5 at The Masters by showing up for this mornings pre second round press conference all bright and chirpy.

Sergio Garcia GolfCentralDaily Funny Pic
Sergio in the pond on 15 at 6am this morning.

"I've just been for a swim this morning lads," Garcia told the world's press. "An old bit of scuba-dive-age.  While you lazy bums were asleep in your beds. And guess what? I found all the balls I hit in there. All 304 of them. Every single last one of them.  And I got some lovely Pro-V1's in there too; they'll be perfect after I steep them in a bath full of bleach and hot water. Takes the scum clean off.  So take that.  Sergio wins.  I'll never have to buy a ball again AND I've got a shit-load of Pinnacles now too for practicing with."

More as it emerges.

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Rory McIlroy didn't take lightly that quip from Sergio Garcia that the only Green Jacket he would ever have was the tiny one he wears on his Saint Patricks Day costume.  Oh no. He hit back in style yesterday.

More brilliant work from Steven Connolly!

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The guys over at The Chive know how to make a video go viral around Masters time even if the link is "tenuous" at best.  Get Paige Spiranac in a push up bra with boobs toppling out, stick a Masters flag behind her, then video her swing in slow motion. That is all.

What is even better is that one fan actually commented "seriously" to ask if Paige had a problem with her boobs getting in the way. And she answered!

Buy hey, I don't hear anyone complaining.  Here's the video in all its glory.

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What could truly have been the most magical Par-3 Contest in Masters history was marred yesterday by thoughtless kids who chose to callously ruin the day by crying and wailing uncontrollably for no reason whatsoever other than to seek attention.

Masters organisers are now considering measures to ban ‘adorable’ toddlers in boiler suits from the par-3 competition after one, belonging to Kevin Chappell went into full meltdown mode on the sixth green and had to be picked up and led away.

Despite not having a shitty nappy and being full of Cow and Gate the little hooligan then ran back onto the green and picked up a ball "in play" before brazenly staging a sit down protest and bawling its lungs out.

"I mean it's wonderful to bring the kids out here today," said an exasperated Chappell with veins bulging out of his temple. "And hey my game is in good shape; I would have won the tournament if my adorable son hadn't picked up my ball and DQ'd me."

Par-3 Contest Highlights

Tony Finau Disloacating His Ankle and Popping It Back In

Jack's Grandson Hole in One

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Everybody be calm, Sergio Garcia is in a happy place at the moment, but that didn't stop him reacting angrily to "stupid" media questions including one about Conor McGregor preparing him mentally for the Masters.  Via our own genius golf comic impressionist Steven Connolly of course!!

Sergio has blocked GolfCentralDaily on Twitter but hopefully one of you will show him this!

Related Post: 2018 Masters Betting Preview and Tips

Related Post: 2018 Masters Long Odds Only Betting Preview and Tips



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