At a hastily arranged press conference in Abu Dhabi before playing his opening round, Rory McIlroy profusely apologized to his fans and tournament sponsors for getting a massive boner during a promotional photoshoot.

"I'm dreadfully sorry" said the world number one adding "I thought it was just a semi that would go away if I thought about grannies or something but then the damn thing just grew. I guess I'm just excited to be back playing. JP suggested I trap it against the inner lining of my pocket but if anything that just made it worse."  

More as it emerges. From Rory's trousers.
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