Bay Hill:- According to eye witnesses, up to three press writers wearing slippers and hearing aids burst into an Arnold Palmer press conference wheeling in what appeared to be a Loaded Question.  One of the men placed wooden wedges in front of the Question to anchor it, a second then loaded the Question with 100 pounds “SNUB”, then stood aside while a third man lit a long fuse.

ArnoldPalmer1“Why do you think Rory McIlroy and Luke Donald are not here?”, the Question boomed hitting Palmer in the pocket splattering him in sticky SNUB.

Thankfully the reeling Hall of Famer only suffered super-financial wounds and, dismissing officials who were attempting to clean off the SNUB, issued the following statement.

"I'm disappointed that they are not here, no question about it.  I'm certainly not happy that those fellas chose not to come this year. We are doing everything we can to entice them to come and play."

Wiping a large clump of SNUB from his face Palmer then issued this warning to his three would-be attackers.

“I had a letter from Rory seeking my consultation and told me he wasn't coming.  And of course that made me feel great.  And if you believe that, I'll talk to you outside afterwards.”

More as it emerges.

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Donal Hughes

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