Admitting that he regularly makes himself into a large toasted sandwich and attempts to eat himself, Bubba Watson broke down in tears yesterday on US TV.  Speaking on The Golf Channel’s Morning Drive show, the mop haired star fought back tears as he described how he constantly feels hungry.

Watson told presenters “While the rest of the guys were in the gym pumping iron this morning, I had a second bowl of muesli then two of those tiny cheese things with the waxy red cover.”  He then went on to publicly chastise himself for experiencing hunger, a natural phenomenon governed by complex neural brain processes and designed to ensure the human body receives the fuel it needs to produce ATP (Adenosine TriPhosphate), the energy units essential to maintain the body’s metabolic processes and sustain life.

“I have let myself, my fellow professionals and The PGA Tour down”, Watson said in relation to his inability to play one round of golf without eating a Crunchy Granola bar and a banana. “My damn brain is writing cheques my body cant cash. We are so spoiled out here on Tour, things like energy bars and fruit are freely available. It’s a rock and roll world and I have to rise above it”.

Watson was later seen behind the studio shoving his arm into a large baguette.

 

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Donal Hughes

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