After months of bitter opposition to the placing of controversial wind turbines one mile from the site of his latest golf course, Donald Trump, on a visit to Scotland, has done a dramatic U-Turn and is now giving them his blessing.

The events transpired after Trump met with Scotland yesterday and declared “Scotland, you’re fired!  Only joking but if you pursue this policy of these monstrous turbines, Scotland will go broke,” he said. “They are ugly, they are noisy and they are dangerous. If Scotland does this, Scotland will be in serious trouble and will lose tourism to places like Ireland, and they are laughing at us.”

Scotland then sat Trump down, handed him a glass of finest malt whiskey and unveiled an alternate wind turbine design, with each blade featuring a 40 foot portrait of The Apprentice star. It’s thought the hot air created in each head will greatly boost the energy output.

Pic: Alternate wind turbine design which Trump favours

Two hours later the pair emerged on the steps of the Scottish Parliament where Trump sluured “I love wind turbines, especially these ones.  They are really super to look at. And hey who needs seagulls anyway? All they do is shit on people. And all that stuff about them being noisy, I just made that up.  Everybody knows you cant hear anything other than the sound of rain beating against your face when golfing in Scotland.  As for the new turbines, I’ve commissioned one hundred of these beauties.  Ireland will never laugh at Scotland again. Ever.”

More as it emerges.

 

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