The mood inside the Harrington house took a turn for the worse on Sunday evening after husband Padraig failed to record popular TV show ‘Love Hate’ properly on the Sky Plus Box.  According to sources, Harrington cancelled the recording after nine minutes when a viewing clash warning appeared on screen. It’s thought Harrington chose instead to watch Lee Evans Live on the Comedy Channel, leaving wife Caroline fuming when she returned home.

padraig“I came home, made a cup of tea and sat down in front of the TV; I was really looking forward to seeing what would happen Nidgey and whether Tommy would get wacked after banging the RA guy’s wife.  I was bloody raging when the ‘end of programme press back up to return’ message greeted me after nine minutes,”  Caroline told reporters.

“This having Padraig loitering around the house at Christmas really isn’t suiting me,” she continued. “There’s dribble on toilet seat, blobs of toothpaste left stuck to the sink and he never leaves the car keys in the same place twice. I really cant wait until the golf season starts and I get my house back.”

The situation escalated a few minutes later when a terse stand off between the Harringtons in front of the TV was suddenly punctuated by the sound of the home heating boiler on automatic timer kicking in. Caroline was first to go on the attack.

“The reason I pressed the bloody series link button was so as I could come home and watch the bloody programme.  You know well it’s the only bloody thing I watch on TV.  And, to add insult to injury, what did you cancel it to watch?  Bloody Lee Evans. That git is on every bloody minute on that bloody channel.”

The clearly irritated three time Major Champion was stung into action.

“How am I supposed to know how a Sky Plus box works anyway?” he said. “In case you haven’t noticed I’m usually too busy out on Tour trying to earn us a living so we can pay the bloody subscription.”

Clearly realizing he said exactly the last thing a working man should ever say to a homemaking wife, Harrington recoiled into the chair and waited for the killer blow to be delivered. 

“Excuse me?  Excuse me?  If you want to look to after the bloody kids from now on, that’s bloody perfect.  I’ll tell you what, you feed, bath and drive the kids half way around Dublin every bloody day next year and see how you get on.  I’ll go out and get a job; I’ll probably earn more than you made this year anyway.”

Not wanting to be the first to leave the TV room and admit defeat, both sat arms folded in silence for 20 minutes through an extremely long ad break and the second part of a Two and Half Men episode featuring Ashton Kuchar.

Flicking the remote control Caroline then discovered that her episode of Love Hate was actually just about to start on RTE+1.  Settling back into her chair she  let out an exasperated sigh as Padraig slinked off up to bed.

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Donal Hughes

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