2012 World Challenge Betting Preview and Tips
odds from paddypower
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Tied for 10th in his only appearance here in 2011 but enters this year on the back of some stellar late season form. Second to Watney at the CIMB Classic in Malaysia at the end of October and winner of the ISPS Handa Perth International after a great battle with Jason Dufner. A few weeks have passed but at 14/1 in a limited field of 18, this looks to be where the value lies, each way.
Jim’s lack of length won’t be an issue on the short (7052 yards) Sherwood Country Club. The course demands precision from the tee and pinpoint iron play which should suit Jim’s game perfectly. An ever present over the last five stagings, Furyk’s worst finish is 11th in 2010, his best is winning in 2009, with a T6 in 2011, T5 in 2008 and 3rd in 2007.
Add to that three consecutive top-10’s at the McGladrey (3rd), the Tour championship and the BMW at the end of the PGA Tour season and Jim also looks a good each way bet.
It has been a season of highs in the WGC Matchplay and Houston and one of lows after being passed over for the Ryder Cup for Hunter but a top 10 at the Tour Championship showed there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hunter’s accuracy off the tee means he’s regularly in the mix here with top five finishes in three out the last four years. A generous 18/1.
Ian Poulter 14/1 is coming off some great form with a fourth at Lake Malaren before winning the WGC HSBC in China and though he didn’t feature atop the leaderboard at the DP World Championship remains one to watch this week. Tied 6th in 2010 and T5 in 2009 in his lat two appearances in this event.
GMac 20/1 was utterly frustrated with the Earth Course last week which just didn’t suit his eye. Sherwood on the other hand is right up his alley. A winner here in 2010 beating Tiger in a playoff capped off a memorable season then, a repeat this year would be sweet. Recently engaged to Kristin, will he be able to focus is the big question?
Just weeks after the Jimmy Saville fiddling controversy, the BBC are faced with another potentially embarrassing headache on the eve of the 2012 Sports Personality of the Year Awards.
In a unique twist of fate this year, more than one UK citizen, including an Englishman actually won something during 2012, raising questions as to whether a real voting system will be required to replace Irene in HR who normally counts the votes.
“We’ve never really had to have more than Irene taking votes or counting texts for SPOTY on a ‘ready to go’ mobile because all our sports stars are usually rubbish”, BBC spokesman Des Lynam said today. “It’s normally pretty clear who should win, we just pick the least bad from a terrible lot.”
Instead this year Rory McIlroy from Northern Ireland, Mo Farah from Africa somewhere, Andy Murray from Scotland, Bradley Wiggins actually from England and the lad who won the long jump replace regular losers David Haye, Michael Owen, Tom Daley and David Beckham as contenders for the top prize.
With Andy Murray announcing he couldn’t be arsed even showing up many analysts now believe it will boil down to a straight contest between Wiggins and McIlroy with Gary Lineker and Sue Barker set to decide the winner via an elaborate vote rigging scam. While both have amazing hair, Sue Barker is set to have the deciding vote as longest serving inmate at the asylum.
Wiggins is the bookies early favourite as he has incredible definition in his locks. Reports that McIlroy will only accept the top prize if Caroline Wozniacki receives the Best Oversees Sports Star Award, are as yet unconfirmed.
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It stinks, it stinks, it stinks to high Heaven.
In the same breath as George O’Grady spoke about a “challenging economic climate”, he announced a near €19 million Final Series of four events in China, Turkey and Dubai. Okay you cant blame the Tour for embracing the big money events, and you cant blame the new venues and sponsors for wanting to host events but George should call it for what it is, a selling out of mainland Europe. The only part of the European Tour that seems to be guaranteed is their office in England.
In case you missed the European Tour have announced changes to the format of the season for 2013. The Race To Dubai will now include a final series of four massive money events totalling almost €19 million to end the season. And for all the guys out in Catalunya battling to get their card; these events are only for the top 60.
Are any of these big money events in Europe I hear you cry? Not a snowballs chance. Two are set for China (at the BMW Masters, WGC-HSBC Champions) one in Turkey (Turkish Open) and then the final DP World Championship at Jumeirah Estates in Dubai.
Mainland Europe gets the flick like a piece of crusty snot hanging from O’Grady’s nose.
Rather, they seem to have focussed on attempting to gather the “European” elite players for a series of tournaments to end the season. The calendar fits in with the Fed Ex Cup allowing PGA defectors such as McIlroy, Westwood, Kaymer and co to make it look like they actually still play on their home Tour.
And O’Grady didn’t deny the move might entice the likes of Tiger Woods to take up European Tour membership next season.
Players can only make the final if they play in two of the first three Final Series events; if they play all three, the get a 20% Race To Dubai points bonus which will be added to their total before the final.
The new, play two of three rule, is a reaction to Rory McIlroy opting to forego an appearance at the WGC HSBC Champions in favour of a one day money match with Tiger Woods and a trip to Bulgaria to watch Caroline lose a tennis match (aka the chance of a ride).
A look at the 2013 Tour Schedule makes pretty shocking reading with the least ever number of events ever in Europe. South Africa is the biggest beneficiary with six tournaments scheduled. England and Ireland both have just one event as has Spain which is the biggest loser with five events ditched.
Sick and Tired of living off the fame of being extras in the hit Police Academy films, handlebar moustachioed Peter O’Keefe and Mark Murphy are set for a tilt at European Tour Q School tomorrow.
“If we make it we make it so there’s zero pressure” said O’Keefe, “We’re definitely not going to give up the lifestyle of luring lithe young men into the Blue Oyster for a waltz by night. How could we?”
Speaking to reporters as he packed enough fudge into the bag for the week caddie Mark Murphy said “We’re doubly adaptable, golf hats by day, mock leather police hats and truncheons by night.”
Commenting on the rigours of Q School O’Keefe said “If you think Tour school is a pain in the ass, you’ve obviously never popped in to the Blue Oyster!”
Best of luck boys!
Just days after assuming a new career as an analyst for Sky Sports Golf, Paul McGinley finds himself on the brink of dismissal by the broadcasting giant after breaking one of their golden rules.
Nearing the end of the coverage from the second round at the DP World Championship, a slouched McGinley was seen on camera appearing to lean on the silver rail of the fake set. An extremely large breasted woman wearing shades who spotted the incident, reported it immediately to the broadcasting complaints commission.
It’s widely known in TV circles that Sky analysts receive weeks of intensive training in perfecting the art of glancing into the camera and standing upright without the aid of props or rails. Slouching or touching the silver rail is strictly forbidden under Sky broadcasting Health and Safety rules since an incident three years ago which saw Howard Clark fall out of the set and injure his head. Many say that, due to his injuries, Clark still isn’t as depressed as he was before the accident.
A team of workers have been brought in to reinforce the hand rail, made of recycled plastic tubing.
An investigation is also underway as to whether McGinley’s broadcast training was somewhow ‘fast tracked’ to avoid an appearance at the event by Colin Montgomerie, the deeply unpopular Scot who says “uh uh uh” before during and after every sentence. Experts claim that McGinley “didn’t stare lovingly into the camera to make us feel included in the conversation even once during the whole broadcast.”
Speaking from the Wisley Golf Club where he is appearing as Santa for the next month, regular Sky analyst Denis Pugh said “I really feel for Paul, he was doing so well up to that. It only takes a seconds lapse in concentration to give the appearance to viewers that you couldn’t really give a shite whether Gonzalo Castano putts with his right hand over his left or vice versa.”
A decision is set to be made in the next few hours as to whether McGinley will continue in his role. John Hawkesworth is said to be on standby at the old folks home should he be required.
Scottish, sounds older than he actually is, singer Paolo Nutini is waking up this morning minus one high profile fan as Irish professional golfer David Higgins revealed he had deleted him from his ipod on the eve of one of the biggest tests of his career. Higgins will now attempt to qualify for the European Tour through Q school starting tomorrow without the help of the dentally defective folk crooner.
Higgins, who, according to wikipedia, turns 40 at the end of the month will then be certifiably medically too old to listen to Nutini and has thus sought out other musical genres in a bid to help him cope with the rigours of Tour School.
“I’m going with ‘The Lumineers’ this week because I feel can keep me chilled,” the Bernhard Langer dopple-ganger told a packed press conference at PGA de Catalunya.
Speaking from their new base in Denver Colorado where they are busy working on their second album, The Lumineers lead singer and guitarist Wesley Schultz said “we’re delighted to be on David’s ipod this week, everyone knows Tour School is a complete pain in the arse so we’re determined to keep our guy super chilled with a blend of vocals drums, percussion, mandolin and of course cello.
The Dave Matthews Band, who were widely tipped to take over from Nutini on Higgins ipod are said to be “inconsolable” and declined to comment.
Miura has claimed he is constantly pestered by representatives from Titleist, Callaway, TaylorMade and Nike who continually try to gain to access to his home in the Hyogo Prefecture of Japan. “I caught the Titleist guy climbing up the drainpipe last night and two lads from Nike knocked over the bins the other morning and woke the kids. One ran off with a half eaten sandwich and some rotten lettuce”.
Totally refuting suggestions that he made the irons for all of the world’s top golfers whose club sponsors then stick their own labels on with sellotape, Miura said “That’s complete and utter bullshit. I didn’t make Snedekers.”
“Do you honestly think I hand craft every players clubs, while the other 350 guys in our massive factory sit around and scratch their arses? You’ve been reading too much Golf Digest son.”
While Graeme McDowell and Kristin Stape were on the helipad atop the Burj Al Arab in Dubai yesterday, Ian Poulter was gathering a crowd of his own as he staged an impromptu fashion show.
Poults was unveiling the controversial new IJP 2013 collection with it’s patented new ‘ergonomic’ design. The company claim the minimal IJP 2013 Masters Collection allows for zero restriction during the golf swing and has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with massive cost saving measures after depressing 2012 sales figures.
“We had to think outside the box, no pun intended,” chief designer Ian Poulter told reporters. “When we started we were revolutionary, now everybody’s selling a pair of circus trousers. We tried to copyright the tartan idea a few back, I cant really remember the full details but it turned out some Morris guy in Scotland had the patent since around 1900.”
The new 2013 IJP collection should be available in all sex shops from January.
Graeme McDowell finds himself in hot water this morning as he wakes up to the real possibility of having to spend a lifetime with girlfriend Kristin Stape after his attempts to break up with her gently were horribly misconstrued.
Instead of ending their relationship as planned in a quiet place atop the Burj Al Arab Hotel where nobody would be able to hear her crying, GMac was shocked as Stape turned the tables, dropping to one knee ring in hand and proposed marriage as a marching band, friends and family streamed onto the rooftop.
Stape somehow misinterpreted McDowell’s recent strange behaviour including wanting to be left alone, going for pints with his mates and cryptic comments about their future; as signs that he was about to pop the question. The former interior designer thought the fact that they didn’t go out for dinner, to the movies or with other couples to socialize anymore, meant that GMac was saving up for “one hell of a diamond.”
“When he mentioned needing to make a ‘big decision soon’ and ‘wanting to explore new possibilities’, I knew there and then it time to book the wedding organizer. I can’t wait I’m so excited”, said Stape.
”He kept saying ‘you deserve to be happy’ and ‘there’s no point waiting around for me’ so I decided if there’s no point waiting for him, I would get the question in first; I knew he would love that”.
"Graeme’s been mooching around saying he’d like to move back to Northern Ireland where his family and friends are," Stape said. "If that’s not the talk of a man whose planning to settle down for the long haul, I don’t know what is."
Stape revealed McDowell has not formally invited her to move back to Irish soil, in the event that he does move—an omission Stape attributes to his fears that she may not want to go.
"He’s such a dote, always thinking about me, he goes on and on about how I'd hate the cold weather and the constant rain in Portrush," Stape said. "It’s wonderful how he always puts me first, he should realize that I would follow him to the ends of Earth."
More as it emerges.
Only messin’ GMac, we love ya and wish you both long life and happiness!
With the great and the good of the European Tour headed once again for the Greg Norman’s Earth Course in Dubai for the end of season bash we preview just who might be heading home with the lions share of the €8 million bonanza on offer.
The average winning score on the Earth Course over the three stagings of the event has been 18 under. With undulating bermuda greens well within the scope of the field, the real key here is Greens In Regulation. Enter Ian Poulter, third in the GIR stats over the season and with a game designed to feature here. Fourth in Lake Malaren a few weeks back and the winner at the WGC HSBC Champions in Shenzen all augur well for a tilt on a similar course this week.
After tying ninth here in 2009, Poults battled Robert Karlsson all the way in 2010, just losing out in a playoff. Surely has big chances this week.
Peter Hanson is responsible for each of the season highlights and lowlights for me. After the pain of being inexplicably benched by Captain Olazabal on the Saturday of the Ryder Cup, Hanson played the shot of the season on his way to winning the BMW Masters. From what can only be described as a gynaelogical lie plugged deep in the grassy lip of a greenside bunker, Hanson played an impossibly wonderful shot to set up victory. That was the big Swede’s second win of the season after the KLM Open in September. And even more impressively, Peter’s six top 10’s besides have included the Masters, the US PGA and two WGC events.
Here at Jumeirah Estates, Hanson tied 9th in 2009 and tied 13th in 2010 before his best finish of fourth last season. He lead after a 64 in round one but rounds of 72 and 71 left him two much to do to catch eventual winner Alvaro Quiros, who incidentally didn’t make the field this season. Hanson is my nap of the week.
If every player is a gamble and there are no guarantees, then Lee Westwood’s case is that little bit more complex. For me it’s quite simple with Lee, if he putts well for four days, he wins or podiums, if not he doesn’t. It seems right now that stringing four solid rounds together is a problem; a round in the 60’s is followed next day by one in the 70’s. For instance a 61 recently in Shenzen was followed by a 72 to drop him to sixth at the WGC HSBC Champions.
There’s no doubting that Lee remains a big threat though after top fives at the Barclays and BMW Championship (2nd) to end the PGA Tour season. Cruised to a six shot win here in 2009 and tied third the following season before a forgettable appearance last year. The question is can Westwood find his game this week? I believe from 14/1, it’s worth an each way flutter that he can.
Regular readers will see no surprise in my tipping Louis Oosthuizen this week. If Poults is good at hitting greens, then Louis is the undisputed champion of the world in a category that is vital to contend here. Arrives rested after a three week stint in Asia where he was never outside the top six and indeed almost won in Singapore, narrowly missing out in a playoff to Matteo Manassero.
Played well here last year to finish sixth after a slow start. If Louis can get a first round 68 or better under his belt this week, he certainly has the game and the form to win.
This is where the fun starts for the long odds glory seekers!
Shane Lowry has a magical golf game that is working so well of late that he has to be considered great each way value from 50/1. Following his win at the Portugal Masters, Shane can go out there this week relaxed after a holiday in the area with his best mates and just shoot for the stars. Tied for eighth last year on his first visit and finished second in the greens in regulation stats for the week. I wish him all the best.
Chris Wood 50/1 is enjoying a great end to his season after top 10’s in Singapore and Hong Kong where he produced a final round 63, his best of the season. His twitter followers will know that Chris has really put in a huge amount of work on his game of late, so it’s great to see it paying dividends. If confidence flowed like oil around Dubai, there will be nobody with more of it coursing through their veins than Chris this week.
Over the 100/1 bracket, the one name that jumps out at me is Joost Luiten at 125/1. He’s been in or around the top 30 in each of his last three events and so close to having a big week. Take his last appearance in Singapore for instance; Joost finished tied 29th on one under after shooting a 76 on Sunday. Had he shot a 68 in round four, like he did in rounds two and three, he would have tied fourth. So there’s really very little between being an also ran and in the big money. Add into the mix that Luiten won the Iskander Johor Open this time last year and my belief in the 365 day form cycle and you just never know!!!!
I rarely break the 10/1 rule in these tipping previews but you should be aware of the bookies favourites. Rory starts at 11/2 (87.7% chance statistically) but I feel the season is starting to take it’s toll on the great man, he really needs a rest. Luke Donald is 9/1 (84.6% chance statistically) and brings, as always form into the event, winning in Japan last week after two top threes at the Tour Championship and the BMW Masters. Donald was sublime here last year, steaming through the field after the poor opening round of 72 to climb into third.
Length: 7675 yards
Greens: Tifeagle Bermuda grass, 2.5mm, stimp 12'
Fairways and rough: Bermuda grass overseeded with Rye
Rough height: semi 40mm, rough 70mm
Generally wide fairways, 102 bunkers, 20 lakes and two meandering streams.
1QUIROS AlvaroESP-1968647067269€ 922,645
2LAWRIE PaulSCO-1765736667271€ 615,094
3DONALD LukeENG-1672686666272€ 359,832
4HANSON PeterSWE-1464727167274€ 276,794
5SCHWARTZEL CharlRSA-1369716867275€ 221,435
6MOLINARI FrancescoITA-1271686869276€ 170,291
6OOSTHUIZEN LouisRSA-1272676671276€ 170,291
8LOWRY ShaneIRL-1169706870277€ 143,933
8ROCK RobertENG-1168697169277€ 143,933
10LARRAZÁBAL PabloESP-1071687069278€ 127,325
1KARLSSON RobertSWE-1465756767274€ 910,349
2POULTER IanENG-1469666970274€ 606,897
3QUIROS AlvaroESP-1372676967275€ 314,070
3WESTWOOD LeeENG-1369677168275€ 314,070
5MCILROY RoryNIR-1271726667276€ 218,484
6CASEY PaulENG-1170677169277€ 168,021
6MOLINARI FrancescoITA-1171676871277€ 168,021
8JAIDEE ThongchaiTHA-968696973279€ 147,477
9DONALD LukeENG-874676970280€ 131,090
9NOH Seung-yulKOR-866737467280€ 131,090
1WESTWOOD LeeENG-2366696664265€ 830,675
2McGOWAN RossENG-1771666668271€ 553,781
3MCILROY RoryNIR-1568696967273€ 323,963
4HARRINGTON PadraigIRL-1468696968274€ 224,282
4OGILVY GeoffAUS-1470696867274€ 224,282
6NOREN AlexanderSWE-1370696769275€ 162,095
7GARCIA SergioESP-1271676969276€ 139,553
7SCOTT AdamAUS-1268736768276€ 139,553
9HANSON PeterSWE-1072716669278€ 114,633
9JIMÉNEZ Miguel AngelESP-1072686969278€ 114,633
9POULTER IanENG-1071746865278€ 114,633
Now this is what you call a team talk from college golf coach Matt Mahanic. It kicks of at 1 min 55 sec but listen from the start as the tension builds. He’s happy with one guy but the other get the full treatment. Tremendous!
"That is f*cking horrendous. Horrendous that nobody can shoot f*cking par on that golf course. That is the most f*cking embarrassed I've ever been in my life, having to walk around that fucking scoreboard and look at those other fucking coaches—F*cking 11 teams beat us this week! Eleven fucking teams! Goddamnit!"
"I gotta f*cking go up there and watch that bullshit you four call golf! Like watching f*cking paint dry! My dad looked and me and said, 'Why the f*ck are you recruiting these kids?'"
"I'm ready to lose my f*cking mind. There is no f*cking helping you! ...F*cking not a big deal, though. It's not a big deal. F*cking hunky-dory."
"We f*cking don't deserve shit. F*cking—we haven't broke 300 all year. Four f*cking chances in nice weather, and we haven't broken 300 yet. F*ck me."
"I don't want to hear a f*cking word out of anybody until we get back to Kentucky[?]. Put your f*cking headphones on, go to sleep, I don't give a shit. I had to watch you play golf for the last 54 f*cking holes. Please do not let me hear your f*cking voice right now."
Needless to say he got the sack!
Okay it’s not golf but who doesn’t love soccer and here’s the beautiful game at it’s best and worst. I just had to post!
First here’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s wonder goal against England.
And here’s Neymar’s miss of the century for Brazil!
As GMac would say, Fontostic!
Sultan Kösen, the world’s tallest man has reacted angrily today to the R&A’s proposed belly putter ban. The Turkish giant told reporters “Just when I thought things were looking up, they go and ban the first putter that was actually the right length for me. Look at me, I cant even bend over. My vertebrae are each the size of a loaf of bread. I need a bloody cane to walk for Allah’s sake. I guess I’ll have to go back to kneeling down on the greens when putting, I don’t even know if that’s legal?”
Holding back tears the 8 foot 3 inch giant revealed “I just got a bed last year that my feet did not dangle out the end of, now I have to deal with this crap. It seems every time I take a step forward, I take two giant steps back. Death to the west.”
Don’t be too concerned about Podge’s 98th last week in Singapore. I have a feeling he’ll do a shade better this week. After good signs in Portugal (16th), Harrington made the most of his invite to the Grand Slam Of Golf where he bagged a much sought after win. A three time winner in Asia, including here in late 2003, don’t discount the only backable Irishman. Rory McIlroy is as low as 4/1 on several markets.
Since tying for second at the Omega European Masters in September, Marcus Fraser has travelled to Holland, Malaysia, China and Singapore without a hint of missing a cut. Just missing the spark to bring him into contention, the Aussie has a very solid recent record here with three top 11’s in the three of the past four stagings (T11-2011, 10th-2010, T7-2008).
It has been a horrid year for Simon with only one top 10 to show for his efforts. Two wins and six more top 10’s during the 2011 season however tell me not to give up hope. Dyson plied his trade in Asia early in his career and actually won this event in 2000 pre sanctioning by the European Tour. Since then his best was a tie for second in 2010, just behind Ian Poulter. Simon played well for two rounds in Singapore and was tied fifth before fading during the final 36 in the stop start conditions. Could figure this week.
Returned last week in Singapore after a four week break. Bourdy has been very solid on Tour since July, finishing eight consecutive tournaments under par and with a best of third at the Italian Open. The Frenchman is a past winner here, holding off Rory McIlroy impressively in 2009 and 10 of his last 12 rounds here have been in the 60’s. Certainly worth a fiver each way.
Like his favourite team Man United, Chris Wood 65/1 has been impressive of late and due a big week. Wood has often posted on twitter details of the work and practice he’s been putting in of late and it showed in Singpore where he tied seventh, even after a one over final round. A confidence player, expect another good showing this week.
Juvic Pagunsan 75/1 of the Philippines had a mare at the weekend last week and will be available at super long odds in Hong Kong. He came tenth here last season but showed strongly on the greens where he finished tied second in the stats. Also nearly won here in Novmeber 2006 when Jose Manuel Lara nicked him by one. Also notable is YE Yang 40/1 who impressed last year.
I saw it on facebook again today and it was like I went from being David Bruce Banner one minute to the Incredible Hulk the next. The trigger? Tadhg Harrington mentioned he was the victim of slow play. Aw crap I’m turning green with rage.
Christ almighty, I hate being stuck behind slow golfers. The way they smirk back at you from the green on a par three, that look of utter disdain on their face as you pace around the tee box. The way they mark a four inch putt, just to piss you off. They way they drop down onto one knee to check the line of that four inch putt, all for the benefit of driving you bloody insane.
You’re getting angry now, aren’t you? They’ve just spent ten minutes shuffling around tap-ins, and you’re about to blow a head gasket. “Come on to fluck lads.” They all stop and turn around. Oops! That hasn’t helped things.
And just when the flag is put back in and you think there’s an actual glimmer of hope of getting this bloody hole played today, you notice it. One of them has left his bag on the front left of the green, even though the feckin’ tee is way over behind the green on the right. Aw shite!
You watch him trudge slowly all the way across the front of the green to pick up the mouldy bag with ‘HIPPO’ on it. “Look at him he even can’t walk right lads.” All sense of normal human compassion and reasoning has now gone. The red mist has descended. He’s got those paedo glasses that go from clear to dark brown when the sun shines. Hang on, is that a friggin’ pair of jeans he’s wearing? It damn well is and the wet rough has caused the water to come all the way up to his knees like friggin’ capillary action we learned in school. And why is he wearing an office shirt out golfing even though its like minus two degrees? Jesus, I’m never putting my name on the timesheet behind tools like these again. You make bogey, it’s all his fault. “How am I supposed to get into a rhythm looking at that crap?”
Forty minutes and two holes later, all four of the buggers have hit balls into the water on front of the 10th green. No bloody surprise there. “Let’s play right up their holes lads, they’ll have to let us through.”
Paedo man has a fishing rod ball scooper thing. Imagine, he had to go into a shop and buy that thing. No bother to him, he’s thick enough to do it too. That’s like going into a restaurant and buying a bib. Bit defeatist. Worse still, all the rest are now gathered around him admiring how shaggin’ long it extends. It takes another age to scoop out all four Molitors but then, instead of walking around to the green, tinty specs with the scooper starts to do a forensic combing of the entire perimeter of the pond. “Which side is my heart lads, I’m having a feckin’ coronary here with the stress.”
He’s stopping every couple of seconds to extract another ball. Is he for real? He’s now revealing the real reason he came out here today and it’s not to bloody well play golf. It’s to collect balls from the pond. Pissing you off is just an added bonus. You’ve seen soldiers scan fields for landmines ten times quicker.
And he’s probably got the brand new Pro V1 you hit in there last week by now. The thought of that hayseed playing with your ball. It’s golf rape by a tinty paedo.
Aghhhhhhh! “Feck this, I’m going in lads, I haven’t a score anyway.”