TV Licence inspectors led Ian Poulter away in handcuffs yesterday evening after the Ryder Cup hero failed to produce valid licenses for the five televisions he has glued together in his sitting room.

Inspectors became suspicious after Poulter appeared to be "stalling then bumbling fruitlessly through drawers" when officials arrived at his home demanding to see documentation that he had paid the correct TV license fee for the quintet of devices he appeared to be viewing simultaneously.

It is believed officials were tipped off by angry neighbours who claimed that the Poulter household seemed to be sucking electricity from several surrounding houses.

"It's one licence one television, everybody knows that but pretends not to" said chief inspector Mrs Kelly Vizen. "If Mr Poulter is smart arse enough to have five screens stuck together instead of having one screen and a remote control to change channel like the rest of us he deserves jail; I think we are all agreed on that."

"On entering the house we also noticed five radios glued together," continued Mrs Vizen "And five toasters stuck together with duck tape. The man is either one lazy bastard or a damn showoff.  He's better off in jail."

Mrs Vizen also went on to accuse Poulter of having even more televisions in his 12,000 square foot mansion. "When we were waiting at the door for him to answer we could hear several people frantically running around upstairs turning stuff off then hiding," she said. "You really think that fools us?"

Poulter is now expected to serve five months in jail; one for each missing license. In a cell with five members of the Bareback Boys.

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