The European Tour have announced this morning that former FIFA President Joseph Sepp Blatter is to become their new Chairman.

Australian Keith Pelley had been regarded as the nailed on certainty  to take over from retiring George O'Grady later this yearbut he has now been told he was never really wanted anyway and to 'get lost' according to insiders.

"For too long we've been all righteous and just and did stuff by the book on the European Tour and what has it got us? Diddly squat," O'Grady told a packed press conference this morning.  "It's time we got down and dirty and murky and filthy and corrupt and rich beyond belief.  Blatter is our guy," he added.
He starts Monday.


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