In a desperate last ditch bid to get Tiger Woods playing well again and making them all heaps of money, PGA Tour bosses have bought Tiger Woods a blow up sex doll.

The Windy Mindy Tour 2000 comes with nine functioning holes, an interchangeable face feature, and is unable to run after people or post shit to social media.

"All the lads in the office have had a whip around to get Tiger something nice," said PGA Tour vice-chairman Harry Beaver. "Poor lad hasn't had a ride since Lindsey left and took the four Brazilian maids, the pair of Venezuelan cleaners and the eight Swedish physios with her. We just thought it might help after we found him trying to hump a Swiss ball in the gym. You would have the yips too if you had the mickey pulled off yourself."
Golf viewership figures in the USA have dropped 97% after nothing f*cking interesting happens Woods anymore

More as it emerges.

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