Ahead of the eagerly awaited replay between Mayo and Dublin in the GAA All Ireland Championship tomorrow, the European Tour have issued a statement kindly requesting that sly little pricks not sneak up behind Irish Tour players having a few pints in a pub whilst enjoying the match with friends, video them on their phones, then send it in to a news website, thinking themselves some sort of fucking heroes who have done a moral duty to the public.

One Tour player, who was watching the Mayo versus Dublin GAA match last weekend with his mates in a city centre pub said "I let out a fart in the toilet and five minutes later it was on instagram, 10 minutes later it was on Joe.ie, and 20 minutes later four news trucks and an ambulance pulled up outside the door. Will ye all just leave me in peace for Christ sakes."

More as it emerges.

 

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