Andrew "Beef" Johnston is said to be back at home in England resting this morning after an airport cock-up in New York saw him arrested as a terror suspect and disappear for a week.

Gaff. Airport security mistook Johnston for Al Qaeda suspect.
On August 10th security staff at John F Kennedy airport apparently mistook the returning home to the UK Johnston for Al Qaeda head of light entertainment Ayman al-Zawacky after hearing him speak "in what sounded like an Arabic accent".  The 27 year old Londoner was briefly detained briefly at the airport before being bundled into an army vehicle and taken away.

Nothing was heard until yesterday when it emerged Johnston had been transferred in the interim to Guantanamo Bay for interrogation before being recognised by an army officer on the base who happened to be a golf fan.

"Man it was like surreal bruv," laughed Johnston after being released into the United Arab Emirates on Tuesday. "They was blindfoldin' me and hangin' me upside down for days like. I was like gaggin' man, it was well hardcore.  Then I hear some guy yellin' 'That's The Beef. That's The Beef' and suddenly they turned off the death metal music and flashing lights and spun me the right way up and we all had a right laugh.  Man they said sorry and stuff and we had a cuppa and it was well pukka mate. I told 'em I was actually enjoyin' the music and all and they made me a compilation CD of it of as a gift mate and we was all laughin' bruv."

More as it emerges.

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