Terrorists threatening to attack next week's Turkish Airlines Open have told the European Tour they would consider leaving the tournament in peace if Rory McIlroy would do a free half clinic with them.  Both sides are currently meeting in Antalya.

PKK fighters are massive Rory McIlroy fans.

"Don't get us wrong, when are not terrorising we are all big Rory McIlroy fans," joint ISIS and PKK spokesman Mehmet Atalan told the press during a break in negotiations. "One of the lads has a dodgy box on his TV and after a hard Sunday of blowing stuff up we all go round to his with a few cans to watch the golf on Sky Sports. Now if Rors were, say, to come out and meet the lads, maybe sign a few gloves and give a bit of a clinic we'd seriously consider not blowing the Turkish Airlines Open to smithereens.  Some of the guys were looking for a few days off anyway and to be honest we are just about out of ammo so the timing might suit perfect.  Mustafa, our best sniper, is missing everything left at the moment, and maybe Rory could take a look at his setup and give him a few pointers."

"Oh I nearly forgot....Death to the West," Atalan added.

A European Tour announcement is expected following the meeting.

More as it emerges.

Note: Above Is Satire.

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