On this morning's "Alternate Shat" on GolfCentral Daily myself and Tripp discuss how the fuck Sergio Garcia could be so bloody careless as to be having a baby around Masters time?

Tripp argues that Sergio must have been seduced by some sort of sexy new lingerie his wife must have picked up whilst shopping or may have been aroused by watching internet porn which is very popular amongst Spanish men. "Men think with their dick," asserts Tripp.

While I argue for common sense.  Any man worth his salt knows intercourse between the 11th and 17th July every year is a strict no-no as that'll mean a goddamn baby will arrive right in the middle of The Masters and ruin everything. It's one thing for golf fans to do it, but that a former Masters Champion to be so thoughtless in this regard, is shocking.  I cannot wait to hear what Masters Chairman Fred Ridley has to say about this.....he'll go fucking ballistic.

More as it emerges.

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