Ryder Cup organisers have today announced a number of measures which will allow the Ryder Cup to go ahead this September as planned despite Coronavirus fears.

Spectators will NOT be allowed attend the event.  Instead special speakers will be placed around the course to allow fans to shout 'Bababooey' and 'Mashed Potatoes' during tee shots via the Zoom app.

To avoid transmission of the virus on the course each match will be separated by 24 hours.  So with 28 matches it should be all wrapped up inside a month or so all going well.

Players will not be allowed bring their own caddies.  Instead golf bags will be carried by registered nurses wearing full head to toe PPE, and golf grips must be disposed of after every shot.  Players must also wear nitrile gloves and face masks at all times on the course.

To avoid breaking the 2-metre distance rule, clubs must be thrown to players at all times.

Players caddies and officials must be powerhosed, injected with dettol and undergo UV light treatment after every match.

Pins and flags will not be allowed. A pink foam swimming noodle will be placed in the hole and any ball which hits off it will be deemed holed.

Wives and girlfriends will not be permitted on the course on in Team rooms.  Ryder Cup organisers say this could greatly increase the risk of transmitting the virus back to the players families.  Sex workers however will be allowed in the players hotels as these are deemed an essential service.

More as it emerges.

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