O’Grady Upset That We Don’t Have Crazy Bastard Like Crane In Europe

by Ron Burgundy in Dubai

European Tour Big Hoss George O’Grady issued a statement yesterday expressing disappointment "on behalf of the European Tour" that crazy bastards like Ben Crane and Bubba Watson are popping up on the PGA rather than the European Tour. "We are obviously disappointed and somewhat confused that clearly mentally unstable players are choosing the US Tour over ours”, O’Grady said. “The craziest bastards always have to be from the USA.  It’s like Roswell. Why does everything always have to happen in America?” he added. “Why couldn’t a alien land in Sweden?  On a thursday, at a Tour event?”

Pic: Former European Tour player Gary Murphy had the Ben Crane look back in 2006.

O’Grady went on to reveal that it was actually the European Tour that pioneered the by now famous Ben Crane look.  “We actually had the helmet and goggles idea five years ago.  We tried it twice on the European Tour with Irish player Gary Murphy. Gary was officially the funniest guy on Tour back then (beat Stephen Dodd after deadlock), but it didn’t work out. The first time he tried the helmet in Majorca, Gary’s head swelled in the heat and we had to get a welder to free him.  The second time was in Austria, the police over there are very strict, Gary served his six months with dignity. We never considered for one second that we were mocking legendary skier Hermann Maier’s out of season condition and that it would be an offence in Austria?”  

Reacting to O’Grady’s comments Gary Murphy, now retired, is rumoured to be considering donning the helmet and goggles one more time for his eagerly anticipated Setanta Ireland Golf interview with Shane Lowry on his new TV show “The Cut Line” to be aired on Saturday nights at 10.00pm.

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