The PGA Tour has today issued a notice seeking to recruit retired golf writers in the build up to this years US Masters, after all the existing ones suddenly exploded yesterday.

MAS32_Veteran_Journalists_RLC_0Several ambulances were summoned to the site of the incident at Bay Hill yesterday only to be greeted by the splattered fragments of 17 American golf writers.

“They were frothing at the mouth, shouting ‘f**k yeah’ and licking pictures of Tiger Woods when they all just suddenly exploded”, said top Irish golf writer Brian Keyhole who was present in the media centre and witnessed the event first hand.

“From all indications, it looks likes they just spontaneously combusted,” said Tim Finchem of the PGA Tour. “We’re scraping up samples as we speak and we should know more when these are examined but initial indications are that the guys got a little over excited on learning that Michael Hoey had won on the European Tour.”

More as it emerges.

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Donal Hughes

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