ARIZONA—Fears are growing today that the top 64 players in the world think that Sky Sports golf commentator Bruce Critchley “talks bollox”. The worst kept secret on Tour came out today when player spokesman Ian Poulter profusely apologized to Sky Sports viewers via twitter saying “Well Bruce Critchley talks complete bollox most of the time anyway. Sorry sky sports viewers for having to listen to his crap every week.”
“Reminds me of that time in India old boy. Nasty business. Terrible case of foot and mouth old boy. The horse came in and dipped its nose into the caretaker’s bucket of paint. The caretaker came home old boy, saw the horse, and thinking it was foot and mouth, shot the horse. I came home, saw the horse, and shot the caretaker! Good times, good times, India India, foot and mouth.”
After the press conference many agreed that Critchley was indeed talking bollox. Some Golf Digest journalists were even seen to nod in agreement.
George O’Grady, European Tour Made Man came out in defence of his former superior officer, “It’s very important to differentiate between “talking bollox” and “being a bollox”. I don’t believe the players are actually calling Bruce a bollox, more that they feel that when he speaks, the words that come out of his mouth and the tone in which they delivered sound like bollox. It’s a technical point but a very important one.