Fiver for one who came up up with a clean, non suggestive, non sexual innuendo filled caption given that GMac is wearing an apron covered in pussy.
I’ll go first:
Who wants MASHED POTATOES?
A revolutionary new design of golf clubs is set to change the face of ladies golf. The first ever prototype set of the lighter, softer, “maxi cuddly MOI” clubs were given to amateur golfer Jackie Cannizzo as a birthday present.
“I picked up the six iron and nailed it 225 yards, I hit the driver 400 yards. These clubs are awesome, at last someone has designed clubs with lady golfers in mind”.
The Maxi cuddly MOI combine humungo size heads with super light shafts and are soft and fluffy, which lady golfers really like.
Paula Creamer is set to debut a pink version of the Maxi Cuddly MOI next week on the LPGA Tour.
How the R&A works absolutely baffles me. Last Wednesday, out of the blue, Peter Dawson and the lads with the brasso buttons on their blazers decided “Lets announce Troon as the venue for the British Open in 2016”. With a massive groundswell of support to bring a future Open to Portrush and the Irish Open on there next week, it seems like the biggest kick the goolies imaginable for the R&A to time their announcement so badly. That Open is four years away for God’s sakes, why not wait until a month or so after the Irish Open, if you are thinking of letting us down gently?
Peter Dawson, just to dot the “i”s and cross the “t”s it seems to me, went to visit Portrush in January. Afterwards he gave an interview in which he gave three bloody compelling reasons why the Open couldn’t be held at Portrush.
Reason 1
Dawson: “One or two of the holes need changes.”
Ah, okay, so being consistently ranked by just about every 
reputable golf publication as being amongst the top 15 courses on the planet is not good enough for the R&A. By that logic last year’s Open was not held at Royal St. Georges because 17 or 18 of the holes needed changes.
It’s like Dawson saying that Sebastian Vettel’s Red Bull is not suitable because it’s running a hair too much downforce, then picking the Force India midway down the grid.
Dawson: “It is not obvious where the practice ground would go. It is not obvious where the tented village would go.”
What is the man on about here? Watch the Irish Open on Sky this week Peter and it might give you a clue. There WILL be a practice ground and there WILL be a tented village capable of serving a field as big as the Open and a sell out crowd of 100,000. The aerial shot of the course shows oodles of space around the course. But then again Dawson might say “None of these big fields would actually be suitable because they are not the correct shade of green?”
I’m rapidly beginning to figure out what they mean when they say the R&A is an institution. And most of those in it belong in one. One with a big practice ground and tented village.
Watch Monty and whole host of Callaway European Tour staffers as they attempt (and mostly fail) to put a grip on a club!
I love these stunts. This one is for Mercedes with pro Jake Shepherd pelting drives down a runway while David Coulthard speeds after it attempting to catch it. Well worth a watch!
There’s shag all super sound companies out there but one I get on great with is Druh Belts & Buckles www.druhbeltsandbuckles.com. When I go looking for a readers prize such as for next week’s Irish Open, Druh Belts & Buckles always deliver. And just wait until you see what I have for you next week!
Owned by Simon Hurd (go on, spell his surname backwards!), who used play on the European Tour and worn by the likes of Lee Westwood, Druh have just just launched their new range of national flag buckles.
Expect to see several players wearing their country flag at the upcoming Open Championship at Lytham. Druh flag buckles are available in the national colours of England, Scotland, Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, Denmark, USA, Canada, Mexico, South Africa, Australia, South Korea, Japan and Thailand.
There will be no trouble in matching the new buckles with the Druh belt range as it comes in ten different water snakeskins, ranging from turquoise to pink and 15 leathers in different embossed styles, from crocodile to ostrich effect. Already the Druh designs in classic black and browns and funky pastels and metallics are spreading like wildfire amongst the 
pros. Indeed Westwood is a global brand ambassador for Druh alongside Ireland’s Paul McGinley, Dane Thomas Bjorn and Thailand’s Thongchai Jaidee.
The flag buckles can be easily swapped with Druh’s other styles that are made from brushed nickel, polished silver or gold.
All the flag buckles are now available at www.druhbeltsandbuckles.com which allows golfers to choose their country flag and matching belt combination. The Druh Flag Buckles with a strap retail at US$137/UK£88 with the Druh Flag Buckles coming out at just US$36/UK£23.
Other Druh Belts retail at US$200/UK£125 for snakeskin and US$125/UK£79 for leather and guarantees that the snakes used in production are not a protected species.
I’m last on the Newstalk Golf weekly podcast with a review of the V Golf Club in Lithuania and the 2012 Travelers Championship. There’s also an interview with Peter Lawrie on his US Open debut and much more.
by Ron for golfcentraldaily.com
According to his close friends, JB Holmes has been walking around “acting like a spoiled little Princess just cause he’s the first man ever to give birth to a baby.”
JB is due to give birth next month and has everyone in the locker room is just wishing the baby was born already. “JB thinks he’s the only person in the history of the world that’s pregnant” an exasperated Bubba Watson said yesterday. “He’s had all us line up in the locker room to feel the bump and yesterday sent me on a 20 mile round trip to get some folic acid.”
Some incredulous colleagues have questioned the fact that JB is with child. Fred Couples pointed out the fact that JB’s ankles are not swollen while a normal preggers woman would be like retaining fluid like Mrs Doubtfire at this stage.
“He wont even bend down now to tee up his ball, says it gives him heartburn and could cause his waters to break” said caddie Brandon Parsons. “We’ve got birthing class in half an hour!”
More as it emerges. Not literally.
The next alternate for the British Open will be dancing a jig today at the news that Webb Simpson has pulled out due to the upcoming birth of his baby.
"After winning it's certainly a little bit harder to not go. But in the grand scheme of life, it's a decision I know I'll always be happy I made," he said.
Here’s the link to Webb Simpson’s US Open Winning Bag Post.
Beautiful Anna Rawson is working for the new Back9Network in the States. Yesterday she posted some behind the scenes pictures of their latest photoshoot. I think her stance is a bit narrow and question whether she needs two gloves but other that I can’t see much wrong! Other commentators have claimed those high heels could damage the greens but I’m a big believer in soil aeration!
Is that light singing Anna’s hair?
Always best to hold onto the bannister when descending stairs in high heels and skimpy kaks!
Anne Marie Kennedy from Yoga For Golf Ireland is our teaching bay contributor. Anne Marie works with Ireland’s elite amateurs, training them to maximize their flexibility, and power in their game through yoga. For more details check out www.yogaforgolf.ie
Golf Benefit: This pose elongates the spine which prevents rounding of the back and all the swing flaws associated with it. It increases distance through all golf shots by increasing hip mobility.
Instruction: Begin on hands and knees, slide the right knee up to the inside of the right wrist. Using the left hand for assistance bring the right shin and ankle out to the left working to bring it parallel with the top of the mat. Be mindful of the knee joint, if you experience any pain or discomfort keep the shin tucked underneath the body. Extend the left leg back feeling a good stretch coming in to the left hip flexor and keep the foot and shin touching the floor. If you find the left hip lifting keep shifting the weight of the body down to the left to keep both 
hips square with the mat. Bring the forearms down on to the mat and hold for 30 seconds to 3 minutes. To take the pose deeper you can extend the arms straight out in front and rest the head on the floor and hold accordingly.
The Energizer Bunny was quick to come out in defence of Jim Furyk in the wake of his US Open collapse. Furyk powered only on a 5-hour energy syrup containing caffeine, taurine and extracts of bat came to a sudden halt on the 16th hole at Olympic Club as his round ticked past the potion’s cut off of five hours for supporting human life forms.
![jim five energy_thumb[1]](http://lh5.ggpht.com/-oAN6uMWLcCM/T99KaqiLaHI/AAAAAAAAKEU/6dFY4a16hf0/s1600-h/jim%252520five%252520energy_thumb%25255B1%25255D%25255B4%25255D.jpg "jim five energy_thumb[1]")
The Energizer Bunny told reporters “I’ve been in touch with Jim to offer my sympathies. I’ve been in his situation many times myself. I remember one time in particular, when I was involved in a mass bunny drumming marathon. I was powered with ordinary zinc carbon batteries at the time and just suddenly ran out of puff. I remember it so clearly. It was heartbreaking.”
The bunny went on to say “Jim asked me about the time I was climbing the rockface. Everybody remembers that. I had gotten over the second ledge and was making a push for the summit when those cursed zinc carbon barrels of crap they had shoved up my ass failed again. I broke my pelvis in the fall. It could have been worse, my landing was cushioned by several other bunnies.
These days I’m like a new bunny. I’m powered by Energizer and just keep going on and on. I’ve recommended them to Jim but I’m not so sure he’s keen on the idea of where they need to be inserted.”
2012 Travelers Championship, TPC River Highlands, Cromwell, Connecticut
Purse: $6,000,000
![if padraig was shrek[9]](http://lh4.ggpht.com/-lxNxpyuobGg/T9848i4yxrI/AAAAAAAAKCY/SOfabkQKGq8/s1600-h/if%252520padraig%252520was%252520shrek%25255B9%25255D%25255B4%25255D.jpg "if padraig was shrek[9]")
Two weeks out from the Irish Open and it’s great to see a return to form Padraig Harrington with a tied fourth at the US Open. He’s heading to River Highlands to compete this week before jetting home to Portrush. Tied for fifth two years ago when he opened and closed with rounds of 64. If he can continue to drive it straight and convert those chances he’s creating, Podge will have a live chance this week.
![ryan moore rick bobby funny pic_thumb[1]_thumb[1]](http://lh6.ggpht.com/-RRKn7ZMo8r0/T985Bbbt6AI/AAAAAAAAKDg/Cf4J3Oqkr3c/s1600-h/ryan%252520moore%252520rick%252520bobby%252520funny%252520pic_thumb%25255B1%25255D_thumb%25255B1%25255D%25255B6%25255D.jpg "ryan moore rick bobby funny pic_thumb[1]_thumb[1]")
Very consistent this year with three top 10’s from his last seven and no missed cuts. Moore finished one back here last year in a tie for second with John Rollins, one shot behind Fredrik Jacobson. He also had a top 15 in 2010, tied for fourth in 2009 and tied second back in 2006. A horse for the course who had a week off to prepare last week.
What an unbelievable US Open Michael Thompson had. To be first round leader and all the pressure it entails and then to come on strong again with a 67 on a major Sunday and tie for second is the stuff of dreams. Thompson has a love for this weeks venue too; he finished with a 62 here last year to come fourth. This week will be his 48th Tour start and he already has a second and third. What odds a win this week?
![hunter mahan_thumb[3][4]](http://lh4.ggpht.com/--1g2fB52MRs/T985dcwfSLI/AAAAAAAAKC8/IikOdy7QFe0/s1600-h/hunter%252520mahan_thumb%25255B3%25255D%25255B4%25255D%25255B3%25255D.jpg "hunter mahan_thumb[3][4]")
The winner back in 2007 also finished tied second either side of it in 2008 and in 2006. His best since is a tie for fourth when Kenny Perry won in 2009. Mahan’s driving game is well suited to the par-70 TPC River Highlands course where at 6850 yards, bombing is not a requisite and with slower than average greens, aggressive putting is rewarded. Right up his street.
![romero_thumb[1]](http://lh5.ggpht.com/-mLLRKXbF5No/T985fQiMfeI/AAAAAAAAKDM/22Up6j3Fk_s/s1600-h/romero_thumb%25255B1%25255D%25255B3%25255D.jpg "romero_thumb[1]")
Now 31, the Argentine hasn’t quite lived to the promise he showed in nearly winning the 2007 Open, though he has bagged a win on the PGA and European Tours. However he has found form again recently in sectional qualifying for this years Open and followed it up with a second place at Memorial. Romero played well here last year too, shooting rounds of 64 and three consistent 67’s to tie for sixth.
The Englishman Brian Davis 80/1 is on a cut streak of nine straight since the Transitions if you allow for his withdrawal at the Crowne Plaza. Davis has been busy raking in the dollars with just one finish outside the top 50 and three top 10’s in that period. Top 10’d here last year, six shots behind Jacobson. Long odds glory hunters might like a look at Nick O’Hern at 120/1 this week. He finished third at the Fed Ex St Jude Classic recently and has played well at TPC Southwind in the past (third in 2007).
DRIVER: Titleist 909D3 (10.5°) with a UST Mamiya AxivCore Tour Black 69X shaft
Here’s what happened when a yelping heckler in a Union Jack hat tried to interrupt the US Open prizegiving ceremony with Webb Simpson.
Well done to Webb Simpson who laughed it off saying something to the effect of “welcome to jail pal” as security hauled down the heckler. Congrats to GMac who tied for second and Padraig Harrington who finished in a tie for fourth.
Robert Lee thinks Sergio should lighten after he chips it in for birdie on the last and then does this.
Formulators of the 5-hour energy drink Jim Furyk is fuelled on have pleaded with the USGA to ensure the final round of todays US Open is completed in under 5 hours.
The secret mission of Tibetan Monks behind the caffeine packed gloop said in a statement “We can keep Jim jam packed with enough caffeine, taurine and other crazy shit to have his pupils fully dilated and his heart jumping out of his body for exactly 5 hours. That’s why we call it 5-hour energy.”
Head monk of the corporation the Dalai Guarana added,
“If the final round takes longer than 5 hours, it’s highly probable that Jim will come to a complete standstill, before falling to the ground, curling into a ball and yelling ‘I’m never drinking again’. We’ve tried it on a few monks at the abbey and let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty.”
