A European Tour player has admitted today that sometimes, even though he has his earphones plugged in on the practice range, there's actually no music playing through them and he's wearing them just so "wankers" will leave him alone.

Asked to clarify who the "wankers" were, World Number 1786 Paul Timberleaf told a press conference at Le Golf National in  Paris "You know, all the other players, coaches, caddies 'n stuff.  I have one song on there but the band are a bunch of wankers so I don't listen to it. I just pop in the earphones and it saves me all the hassle of having to look up and say "hello" to all the other wanker players passing by and all the other wankers who hang around here who probably want to bug me even though they aren't even good enough to be a Tour player."

Timberleaf who has missed his last 16 cuts on the European Tour but was one of the only players actually on site because everyone else couldn't get there due to a transport strike
believes wearing his new Sennheisers has really helped his game this season.  "I love them, I look a bad ass, while all the other guys look like wankers. The chicks love me."

When it was suggested by a Times reporter that maybe he, and not everybody else, was being "the wanker" Timberleaf angrily replied "Who are you? What have you ever done in the game? Bet you bought those sunglasses? I got mine sponsored. Ha, wanker! You're the reason I wear earphones!"

More as it emerges.

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