Some of the world's top Tour players have been left reeling at the revelation that Volkswagen have been fraudulently masking high exhaust emissions that are damaging the environment.

"To be honest I'm disgusted and appalled to think that I actually let myself be chauffeured from the course to the hotel in a brand new stunning top of the range fully stacked 6.0 litre Volkswagen," one player who asked to remain anonymous, said. "We even took the Volkswagen on a trip down to the lake the evening we all went powerboating with the sheikhs after missing the cut. It handled beautifully and we got her up to 145 miles an hour on the motorway but I feel sickened now just to think of all the poisonous emissions that 444 brake horsepower engine was chugging out while we were innocently trying to drive the shit out of it because it was free."

Another player claimed the scandal has affected his entire family.

"I won a $80,000 Volkswagen Phaeton for a hole in one but how am I going to drive it into the car park of a Tour event like a smug bastard now?" asked World Number 876 Paul Kerswade. "I've no option now but to give it to the wife, so she'll be affected by this too. It's awful."

Meanwhile the European Tour Players Committee met in Germany this week to discuss the matter and issued this statement.

"We absolutely condemn all vehicles from Volkswagen; we never liked the way you thought you had the gearknob in reverse then it jumped forward because it was really in first, anyway.  We would like 
to assure fans that from now on players will only be accepting free BMW, Jaguar and Range Rovers at Tour events."

More as it emerges.

Join the GolfCentralDaily community on Facebook Here and on Twitter Here.
Share To:

GolfCentralDaily

Uncensored, independent, inside the ropes Tour golf news and spoofs from the world's best golf blog!

Post A Comment:

0 comments so far,add yours