PGA Tour chief Tim Finchem has declared he is to bring in fifty extra women to work at Tour events in response to public man love displays which have risen to worrying levels.

According to reports, testosterone levels have surged in recent months. leading to open displays of all male affection at Playoff events.

"Hey I'm as sexually liberated as they get," said Finchem "but there's just too many dicks on the dancefloor out here. Players, caddies, coaches, physios it's like shower time in Shawshank around here."

The fifty women are expected to be introduced into the population at this week's BMW Championship.

More as it emerges.

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