After almost 10 years making up satire it takes a lot to really shock me but Pete Willett's description of your average Team USA Ryder Cup fan in his column yesterday did exactly that!

I had heard yesterday it was bad, but I never expected this level of bile. It is meant to be satire isn't it?

Are you sitting comfortably? Take it away Pete.

They need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.
They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin.
They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.

If its any consolation Pete also warned Darren Clarke not to pair any of his players with a "particularly boisterous bastard".

Danny was shoved in front of cameras straight away to beg forgiveness.

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