Delhi slum residents described their "shock and dismay at the appalling and inhumane conditions" after a delegation visited the European Tour's Hero Indian Open yesterday.

Slum dwellers left shocked by the inhumane conditions on the European Tour after visiting yesterday

The group toured the site of the event and were clearly shaken by the experience.

"What you don't fully appreciate when you see the pictures on TV is the horrific smells," said slum dweller Rajiv Gopa who earns 3 pence and a sound beating on a good day. "I had to keep a hankerchief over my nose to cope with the constant stench of Burberry, Gucci and Aramis that's everywhere.  We even witnessed open drains with high street fragrances running through them and nobody evens notices anymore. It's so sad."

The delegation were also brought to the course to witness the European Tour's infamous congestion first hand.

"Five hours to get four miles?" said local tuc tuc taxi driver Sundar Khan. "I'm never going to complain about the traffic in downtown Delhi again. The anger and impatience out here make our taxi drivers look like the fucking Dalai Lama."

The group were also brought to the European Tour's medical centre where they comforted several players lying side by side hooked up to emergency Wi-Fi.  A doctor explained how players have to suffer being deprived of fibre powered broadband for long periods while on the course with absolutely no access to social media, streaming movie sites or porn.  

"It’s incredible to see how they survive in such conditions, you can understand how they all look so miserable," said Sundar Khan. "It's alright for us that can return to our happy lives, earning good money raking lumps of faeces from clogged drains; those guys have to endure that 24/7. God love them."

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