Celebrations at the European Tour headquarters continued this morning after the PGA Tour suffered its second boring as shit week in a row.

Champagne flowed at European Tour HQ in Surrey late into the night as Andrew somebody won something somewhere hot with cowboy boots on or something boring like that on the PGA Tour.

"It's party time here guys; we even heard reports last night that people turned off the golf to watch Indian league cricket highlights which is a real boost for the European Tour!" Euro Tour chief Keith Pelley told reporters this morning. "I'm telling you......if US golf continues at this level of shitness, or becomes more shit, there's a chance, albeit a small one, but I'm an eternal optimist here, that the PGA Tour could become more shit than the European Tour and then we'll be better than them.  But as we all know, shit is a remarkably fluid business." 

Pelley was speaking from China, where golf is outlawed and courses are being bulldozed, ahead of this weeks Volvo China Open which will take place on a basketball court outside Beijing.

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