An Aldi shopper was left with a broken wrist yesterday after a tussle with another man to buy the last bottles of Darren Clarke's new aftershave.

Clarke's first foray into the fragrance world, "Pungent Clam" has been deemed a massive success by the cut-price German supermarket giant, who sold out of the first pallet in minutes yesterday.

Clarke's first edition odour, signifying his love of smells and seafood, comes in two bottles which must be carefully mixed before application and sent shoppers into a frenzy when it hit Aldi Stores yesterday priced €1.99.

Darren Clarke Aftershave funny golfcentraldaily
Darren Clarke's new odour "Pungent Clam" 


"It's unprecedented in Aldi to see shoppers fighting with each other in our stores to get the last few bottles," said Chairman Ludo Schultz last night. "One shopper told us that he had an almost cement like turd blocking his downstairs toilet for almost five years, and after putting a bottle of Darren's Pungent Clam in there, it completely unclogged it in seconds."

Another shopper, Peter Duddlesome, slept outside his local Aldi store overnight to secure the first 60 bottles.  "I use it to stop caterpillars climbing up the back doorstep of the house at night" said Mr. Duddlesome, 48. "It just liquifies them instantly.  I also use it as weedkiller and for powerwashing footpaths."

Duddlesome had a word of warning though to anyone using Pungent Clam.  "It's great stuff but all I would say is to be careful using it. Wear thick gloves. If it gets on your skin, it goes straight under it immediately and can make you into an irritable and extremely moody bastard.  It'll take at least 15 pints of Guinness before the effect wears off."

More as it emerges.

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