A elderly man is recovering in hospital this morning after ripping his testicles in an horrific accident whilst golfing yesterday.

The aging golfer was attempting to climb over a barbed wire “out of bounds” fence when he became stuck on the fence with one leg on either side.



“I got myself what you might describe as ‘beached’ on the fence,” said keen golfer Pat Farley. “Then I felt the barbed wire first pierce my trousers and then puncture my nutsack and I knew a Catch 22 situation was rapidly emerging.”

Video here: https://twitter.com/golfcentraldoc/status/1111165057273081856?s=19

“If I continued to try to climb over the fence I knew I’d rip my onion sack to bits, but if I retreated back I’d risk leaving a brand my new Pro V1 right there in plain sight, and some other bastard would get it.  So I did what any golfer would do.....I went over after the ball.”

Farley said this morning that he hopes to leave hospital by the weekend after receiving 78 stitches to his scrotum and two pints of blood.

“The funny thing is when I got over the fence and crawled to the ball, it turned out it wasn’t my ball at all!, Farley joked from his hospital bed.  “It was a fuckin’ Pinnacle!”



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