European Tour boss Keith Pelley was forced out of hiding yesterday, amidst a flurry of negative reaction, to try to explain the inspiration behind the European Tour's new logo.

Keith Pelley explaining how his dildo inspired the new European Tour logo.

"The European Tour is much like my big blue dildo that you'll notice matches my glasses and my sports jacket," explained Pelley.  "Mostly we go to good places but sometimes we have to go pretty hairy places and other times we go do downright shitty places, just for the money."

"We mostly bring pleasure, and entertainment, but sometimes if it goes on for five hours it can be boring and painful.  If we have to take it on the chin we do that and move on quickly."

"But the European Tour, just like my dildo, is nothing if not big and strong and rubbery.  It had the power to screw our top player right in the ass last year, then the flexibility to do a deal to keep him happy."

"So let's all stand up and be proud and have the balls to show those assholes over in the PGA Tour that they should never fuck with us."


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