Robert Allenby is recovering this morning after being abducted by aliens.  The Australian, who last week was beaten within an inch of his life by a homeless woman in Hawaii, was abducted from just outside The Doll House titty bar in Miami Florida and beamed aboard a space ship manned by strange hostile beings.
"I cant remember much," said a clearly shaken Allenby. "I was just walking past this titty bar when next thing I was aboard an alien space ship being subjected to psychological experiments and medical examinations by nonhuman entities.  They had me up there for about two and half hours.  I'm just so thankful that some topless ladies happened to be there to find me when the aliens beamed me back."
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