Over 200,000 fanatical Spaniards turned up for the final round of the Open de Espana today to cheer their hero and home favourite Miguel Angel Jimenez.

Earlier in the day Jimenez was carried shoulder high on a golden throne the 30 miles from the Spanish capital Barcelona to the host course by four giant unsullied warriors, one of whom looked a lot like Andrew Flintoff, along a route lined with hairdressers and car enthusiasts.

Police reported no major incidents along the route and even joined with a subsection of approximately 5000 Jimenez fans and the King of Spain, Felipe VI, to burn an effigy of Keegan Bradley, who incidentally has been banned from ever entering the country. Ever.

In the end Jimenez could only manage to finish in a tie for second in front of his adoring fans after some English guy won.  After giving a completely incomprehensible interview to Sky Sports which didn't matter a toss because it was funny anyway, Jimenez was led away by a dozen lithe, yet not at all skinny, buxom over-40 year old cougars, that would suit a 51 year legend perfectly without being weird, to be bathed in Rioja and have his hair licked back into condition after a days torture in the Spanish Sun.

Turning his head as he was being lead away, Jimenez lifted his dark sunglasses momentarily and  with a glint in his eye said "Is berry berry good no?"

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