The inaugural Shot Clock Masters on the European Tour has gotten off to an exciting start with reports coming in that up to six slow players have already been wounded by referee John Paramor's paintball gun during the opening morning's play.

Under the rules of the tournament, dubbed locally as "The Hunger Games", players have up to 40 seconds to hit their ball and if they fail to do so within the allotted time, they get shot by the referee.

But don't worry, the refs are using a paintball gun and not aiming for the head because that would be absurd and dangerous.  Instead they are aiming only for the testicles.

"Our aim is to shame the slow players, and pebbledash their balls with emulsion," said Paramor. "I don't know if you've ever tried to play golf with a swollen scrotum, but by golly it hurts. Especially putting."

More as it emerges.

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