Saudi Arabian authorities demonstrated even more Western style tolerance today by agreeing to delay Sunday's live televised beheading until the golf is finished.

"This shows how far Saudi Arabia has come," said European Tour boss Keith Smelley. "Beheadings are the number one rated sport in Saudi Arabia and for the guys to delay it to allow us to finish the tournament first is a real head turner."

"Despite the preconceptions many people may have, the European Tour have a lot in common with the Saudis," continued Smelley.  "Whether swinging a golf club or a razor sharp sword to lop someone's head off, both require great technique and skill.  And of course we both let women drive."

Speaking at a photoshoot with Bryson DeChambeau this morning top Saudi executioner Ahmed Bin Haktoom was happy to wait until about 5pm on Sunday evening to get going.

"The guy I'm decapitating this week is a real bad egg," laughed Bin Haktoom. "We found him loitering outside the golf club wearing a pink pair of trousers and a hat bearing the word 'Tit-Le-Ist' which means 'Tits are yummy' in Arabic.  Imagine that? Totally unforgivable! He broke about a hundred rules there.  And I wouldn't be surprised if he was gay into the bargain. Best thing for that lad is a scimitar down on the neck at 90 miles an hour."

More as it emerges.

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