The PGA Tour have issued a warning to fans attending this week's WGC Championship in Mexico City, not to fuck with the marshals if they plan on staying alive to watch the golf.

Over two hundred pickup trucks full of topless gun wielding Mexicans arrived at the venue this morning for official marshal training before the event starts tomorrow.

"My men are going to do a terrific job of marshalling the fans this week," said head of security Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo. "Anyone who shouts "Bababooey" during a drive on my watch can look forward to eating his own testicles, while fully conscious, and tethered to a chair. But hey if fans behave and don't make eye contact with my men you should be ok to continue living."

More as it emerges.

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