A golfer was treated for severe shock this morning after he inadvertently came into contact with a two month old rotten banana in his golf bag.

John Keenan, 28, made the horrific discovery after reaching into the rarely used side pocket to see if his hat was in there.



The area around the golf bag was immediately cordoned off as the mans wife moved in with a plastic bag and kitchen roll in an attempt to make the oozing black banana safe.

"I knew as soon as I reached into that side pocket and felt that warm wet puss like mush between my fingers that something was very wrong," Keenan told reporters. "The last time I played golf was at an outing in Dublin two months ago and there was a banana in the goodie bag.  They should bloody well know that nobody wants a fucking banana in a goodie bag."

With the cleanup operation set to last the rest of the week, Keenan now admits that the inside liner of the bag is now rock solid with absorbed concentrated banana and it might have to be sold on DoneDeal.

"I'll still get 50 quid for it, if he doesn't look in the side pocket," said Keenan.

More as it emerges.



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