**Uncensored headline version because big brother social media banned first one!**

A BIG IRISH GOLF FAN's celebrations at the announcement that the 2026 Ryder Cup is to be held in Ireland were cut short this morning when he suddenly realised its fucking ages away yet.
 

Cian Mulroy had just set up a whatapp group with all his golf mates titled "2026 Ryder Cup We're Going" when he realised he'll be 50 by the time it bloody well gets here and two more Olympics will have taken place by then.

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"I'll be bald, grey, I'll have a big belly and most likely have degenerated discs in my back by then," said Mulroy before adding "I'd probably see more on the telly anyways."

Mr Mulroy went on to voice his concerns over what age Ian Poulter will be in 2026 and whether he'll be able to play in all five matches.

"The European Team that'll be playing in 2026 probably haven't been born yet?” Mulroy questioned opening his calculator on his phone, "And Adare is a bloody traffic bottleneck at the best of times. I'm not sitting in the hybrid electric estate I'll be driving by then for hours on end.  That's it, I'm deleting that whatsapp group again."

Mulroy, single for the last 11 years and still living at home with his parents concluded, "Sure I'll probably be married by then with a couple of kids, and she wont even let me out for a game of golf nevermind disappearing off to the Ryder Cup with the lads for three days. Not a hope!"

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