The SpinDoctor’s “Close Encounter of a Munster Kind” with Ian Poulter Height: 6-1 Weight: 189 Birthdate: January 10, 1976 Birthplace: Hitchi...

The SpinDoctor’s “Close Encounter of a Munster Kind” with Ian Poulter

Height: 6-1
Weight: 189
Birthdate: January 10, 1976
Birthplace: Hitchin, England
Turned Pro: 1995

What's In The Bag
Driver: Cobra S9-1 F Speed (9.5°) with Fujikura 6X07, X flex shafts
3 Wood: Cobra Speed Pro Prototype (15°) with Grafalloy Pro
lite 35X shaft
5 Wood: Titleist 906F (18°) with Grafalloy Prolite 35X shaft
Hybrid: Titleist 909H (19°) with Aldila NV Hybrid 85 X shaft
4-7 Iron: Cobra Pro CB with Dynamic Gold X100 shafts
8-PW: Cobra Pro MB (8-pw) with Dynamic Gold X100 shafts
Wedges: Titleist Vokey Design (54° with 12° bounce and 60° with 5° bounce)
Putter: Odyssey DFX 5500

We've managed to get an interview with Ian Poulter. Instead of asking him deep and meaningful questions about golf, we decide the best thing to do is to get the Poultergeist to take part in the Irish Examiner sixty-second Larry Gogan inspired quiz. Ready? Start the clock….

Doc: Dinner with wine or pizza and beer?
Poults: Ahhhh…(5 seconds go by) Champagne.

We have to stop the clock to clearly explain the rules of this quiz to Poults and just how serious it is to the Irish nation. We explain that it took us at least a half an hour to prepare the questions the night before in less than ideal media working conditions (i.e. in the boozer). Larry Gogan would never put up with this kind of messing.

Start the clock….again….

Doc: Daniel Craig or Sean Connery?
Poults: Daniel Craig
Doc: Slacks and shirt or jeans and tee-shirts?
Poults: Slacks and shirts. (Oooh posh!)
Doc: Blondes or brunettes?
Poults: Blondes
Doc: Loads of make-up or just enough to bring out natural beauty?
Poults: Just enough to bring out natural beauty.
Doc: And what about in women?
(Ian realizes we’ve tricked him)…My wife is gorgeous!
Doc: Pat Jennings in 1976 or Pat Jennings in 1978?
(Another tricky little question to test Poults supposed love of Arsenal. Jennings played with Spurs in 1976 and Arsenal in 1978)
Poults: Pat Jennings 1978 Yesss!!! (Damn, he got it right. The Poultergeist knows his Arsenal.)
Doc: The Open or The Masters?
Poults: The Open
Doc: Ryder Cup Captain or a senior major?
Poults: (Long silence……the fashion Guru is stumped. We feel sorry for him and volunteer the answer “Ryder Cup Captain, because you’re going to win an ordinary Major”. Now that’s what you call kissin’ ass!)
Doc: Only Fools and Horses or Fawlty Towers?
Poults: Ah, ooh, both. They’re both great.
Doc: Bergkamp or Henry?
Poults: Bergkamp
Doc: The Beatles or The Stones?
Poults: The Beatles
Doc: Lost or 24?
Poults: 24
Doc: A good gig or a movie?
Poults: A movie
Doc: European Tour or PGA Tour?
Poults: Ah, I can’t answer that. Both
Doc: Tea and scones with Nelson Mandela or Barrack Obama?
Poults: Nelson Mandela.
Doc: England World Cup soccer win or an Arsenal treble?
Poults: Arsenal treble
Doc: Win from the front or come from behind?
Poults: Win from the front.
Doc: Ricky Hatton or Joe Calzaghe?
Poults: Ricky Hatton (though by his expression it’s a close one)
Doc: Georgie Best or Diego Maradonna?
Poults: Georgie Best no question. I don’t like that hand-ball (stuff that Diego specialized in).
Doc: Knight Rider or MacGyver?
Poults: Knight Rider
Doc: Ricky Gervais or Billy Connolly?
Poults: Ricky Gervais
Doc: Shawshank Redemption (deep and meaningful) or Something About Mary (hilarious but shallow)?
Poults: Shawshank Redemption
Doc: Ewen Murray or Peter Alliss?
Poults: Peter Alliss.

Doc: Stop the clock. Ian Poulter, you have successfully completed the Irish Examiner sixty-second Larry Gogan inspired quiz but instead of a gawdy old plaque we’ve brought you a Munster jersey (with thanks to Jimmy Staunton in Elverys). Now be a sport and put it on and lets pack it down like Horan and Hayes!

With thanks to Ian Poulter, Katie Tiarks and Mick Walsh for all their help.

4 Lads In A Classic Car

I’ve had to take a break from playing for the past couple of weeks due to an uncooperative third vertebrae. However, whilst on my back, I’ve been doing some research into the best value golf around and I think I have uncovered two doozies.

The Amendoeira Golf Classic: Ballinrobe Golf Club, May 1st -9th
Maybe I’m getting old but weren’t classic prizes supposed to be four deep fat fryers or some dodgy art? But no, they don’t bother with such tokens as those in Ballinrobe Golf Club where they’ve teamed up with Oceanico Development to lay on the “euromillions” equivalent of classic prizes. The course that Padraig Harrington called “The finest championship golf course in the West of Ireland” are sending the winning mens and ladies teams on golfing trips of a lifetime to the Amendoeira Oceanico resort in Portugal with five star accommodation included. The victorious teams will warm up on the O’Connor and Faldo Oceanico layouts before capping off their week away by taking on the famous Vilamoura Victoria course, home of the Portuguese masters. At €140 per team entry and only €20 re-entry, Ballinrobe have extended the duration of the event to nine days due to the enormous demand. All proceeds go the club development fund and further details can be got online at or by phoning 094-9541118.

The Ryder Cup Experience: K Club, March to September
Imagine the opportunity to play competitive golf for the ultimate reward - to stay at the K Club and relive the Ryder Cup Experience.
The K Club have dreamt up a fantastic event whereby players firstly compete in tournament conditions on the Smurfit Course with the winners qualifying for the final round on the The Palmer Course as per set up from last day of Ryder Cup in a competition. The Qualifying round costs only €75 PP (including K Club snack) and will take place on the Smurfit Course from March to September & the monthly winner’s final will take place on the Palmer course - 25th & 26th September 2009. Full details are on

Bloggy Underfoot- Slow Play
There’s a “weed” like problem appearing on golf courses up and down the country. When clubs try to dig it out, they can never seem to grab it by its root and so it spreads. This “weed” is slow play. Top courses with great layouts, glassy greens and luxurious facilities that depend on revenue from green fees and societies are starting to lose money hand over fist because they are “getting a name” for dawdling play. The clamour for early tee time booking on a Sunday at most clubs is now akin to getting tickets for Munster versus Leinster at Croke Park, because a dawn start means a three and a half hour round as opposed to a five hour water-boarding torture. So what’s causing the 90 minute delay as the day wears on? Here’s my tuppence worth.

The Traffic Jam Theory: Many people believe one of the main causes of slow play are obstinate players. They are very often of the same genetic code as the guys who hold everyone up on the road, driving in third gear with two wheels over the median line and even then attempt to “resist arrest” when you dare tray to overtake. Many of this demographic will have taken up golf relatively recently, and through no fault of their own, have not received a grounding in the basic rules and etiquette of the game. They subsequently revert to type and treat the golf course like a road. “What we have we hold”, is their philosophy, meaning no one is getting through, lost ball or no lost ball. They’re frequently the same people that leave those pothole size plugmarks on the green, oblivious to the other course users.

The Sabbatini Theory: Remember what caused Rory Sabbatini to throw his toys out of the PGA tour cot a couple of years back? Playing partner Ben Crane’s seemingly endless pre-shot routine, which eventually caused Sabbatini to blow his top and sparked the whole “Keep up” furore with his wife even getting involved. How this filters down to club golf is that players see the pro’s on TV going through their pre-shot checklist and try to emulate them. Worse still, this philosophy is being taught to very young players, leading them to believe that “slow is good”. What they don’t see on TV is that touring pros though deliberate when making a shot, move extremely quickly between shots and start their routine while their partners are playing. The rule on tour is that a player has 50 seconds to play if first to hit while subsequent players in a group get forty. A set hole completion time allocation is assigned on the caddy’s yardage book. Two strikes and the tour referees hit you with a one shot penalty and a £2000 fine. Those of you lucky enough to be going to Baltray in a couple of weeks will be amazed by the pace of play. Contrast that to the ambling down the fairway of the slowest club golfers, who leave their bags the wrong side of every green and insist on marking the card whilst standing beside the flag after the completion of every whole.

The Course Ranger: Often called “Rectum Rangers” because theirs is the dirtiest of jobs. They flit between the first tee and the eighth green desperately trying to keep the conveyor belt moving. Did you ever notice a new ranger starts out very eager, but after a few weeks of being called “insert expletive”, ends up a despised figure on a hiding to nothing, like a politician on the doorstep before and election. Most just give up trying and become like ex-boxers; no fight left in them and are just downright charming. The best ranger I ever encountered was in Enniscrone, a retired guard, with zero interest in the game, who moved the players around the course with all the military precision of a war strategist. He would stand tall atop the dunes like a major general surveying the troops and his mere presence in your eye line made you break into a march.

So where are to go from here? Why not try my solution? If slow play is to be eliminated from our courses, apart from effective rangers, we need all golfers to undergo a basic “induction training” programme if you will. This can be in the form of a small meeting in a clubhouse or even better from tee to green on the course with an experienced member. Topics to cover should be structured well and might include topics such as speed of play, when to let groups through, respect for the course, where to leave your bag around the green and how to pick up your ball if you have played more than seven shots on any hole. Even experienced but slow players could be cajoled into attending by asking them to “help out” on the evening. Now call an EGM and hurry up!

Dr. and The Medic:
You want to hit it longer off the tee.

Work on gaining a balanced finished with your belt buckle pointing towards the target.

Practice hitting your driver at 75% of your normal swing speed. Work on making a smooth tempo at first. Then focus on making a good arm extension at impact and well after it. As you coil to the top of your backswing, make sure your body weight is shifting onto your trailing leg. Remember to keep your smooth tempo with arm extension as you move through the ball with your body weight shifting onto your forward leg. Finally, focus on finishing your swing with your belt buckle pointing towards the target. Once all of these steps feel natural in your swing, increase the swing speed whilst making sure you always have a nice tempo and balanced finish.

I Want One Of Those: Robo Cup
RoboCup, is a new ball return robot that won ‘Best New Product’ at the annual PGA Merchandise Show. From an idea inspired by a mouse trap spring, the RoboCup is a cool plastic disk that sits into any golf hole. When your putt drops in it shoots the ball right back to you up to 14 feet, depending on green speed. A set of batteries last for 15,000 putt returns. Inventor Keith Foley came up with the idea after watching the Fore Inventors Only show on The Golf Channel. Check it out on Freddy Funk said of the RoboCup, "I love the RoboCup... it's an old man's dream!" I was thinking more along the lines of Caroline Morahan myself!

Tailored Shorts

Hole In One History
Former University of Georgia all-American Brendan Todd created history on the Nationwide Tour last week carding two hole-in-ones on the same hole on consecutive days. At the Athens Regional Foundation Classic in Georgia, Todd hit a seven iron into the cup on the par three 17th on Thursday, then repeated the feat with an eight iron on Friday.

Ochoa Wins But LPGA Tour Slumps
World number one Lorena Ochoa shot a 5-under par 68 on Sunday to edge out Norway's Suzann Pettersen by one stroke in a dramatic final round of Corona Championship in Mexico. Ochoa birdied the 15th and 16th holes to finish one ahead of Pettersen on 25-under. Ochoa’s played without regular caddie Dave Booker, who got hurt playing a soccer match on Saturday and had to call on her childhood coach Rafael Alarcon to caddie for her. However dramatic Ochoa’s win, the decline in popularity of the LPGA tour of late has been startling. The retiring of Annika Sorenstam, falling attendances, poor TV figures and the withdrawal of long time sponsors have plunged the ladies tour into crisis.

Lehman and Langer Together?
There are three givens in life, time, tide and a Champions Tour debutant winning on his first time out! This time it was Tom Lehman’s turn, who, on his first start, emerged victorious in a two man team event alongside Bernhard Langer. Lehman made a par putt on the second playoff hole to defeat Craig Stadler and Jeff Sluman and land the pair The Liberty Mutual Legends of Golf title. In winning Lehman became the 13th Champions Tour debutant to win.

Bet Your Balls- odds from paddypower
Open de España
PGA Golf de Catalunya
Girona, Spain
30 Apr 2009 - 03 May 2009

Ignacio 40/1
There is a very strong Spanish contingent playing at their home open week including Sergio Garcia and Miguel Angel Jimenez. It looks like form boy Ganzalo Castano is going to take a weel earned rest this week so we’re plumping for long odds chance Ignacio Garrido. Struggled for form for the past couple of seasons but our formbook shows a lifecycle similar to the Mayfly. Second behind absent defending champion Peter Lawrie last year.

Peter Lawrie 40/1
Though not to be seen on the official entry list, word has it that the Castleknock touring pro will defend his title this week. Sent out a warning shot in the final round of the Ballintines with a blistering 66 in tough conditions to climb from 38th spot to finish joint eighth. Last years event was staged in Seville but as the thousands of Irish holidaying golfers who have played at PGA de Catalunya there will attest to, this track is right up Lawrie’s street with equally difficult greens. Stands a decent chance if jet lag doesn’t intervene.

Søren Hansen 20/1
It’s that time of the year again folks. We have to tip-toe into the cave and gently wake Soren from hibernation. Hansen hasn’t teed it up on the European Tour since missing the cut at The Masters and so makes a welcome return this week. The 2008 Ryder Cup star finished third in last years staging in Seville.

Quail Hollow Championship
Monday Apr 27 – Sunday May 3, 2009
Quail Hollow Club · Charlotte, N.C.

Rory Sabbatini 33/1
Known as the angry man of the tour but he hasn’t been to my club on a Sunday morning. Tore through the field last week climbing from eighth to finish second behind deserving winner Jerry Kelly. With top tens also to note from the Northern Trust and FBR events, this could be the breakthrough week for the South African. Tied for third in this event in 2007, he brought good from into the event that year also.

Jim Furyk 22/1
Jim has some major points to prove this week. Took home the spoils at the then entitled Wachovia Championship in 2006 having also tied for second the previous year. His best result in 2009 was a third at the CA Championships but also had a decent run at Augusta where we pointed to renewed confidence on the putting green. A regular top tenner here, does he deserve your tenner?

David Toms 40/1
Does he have the heart for it again this week? Nice to see the re-emergence of Toms this year. Tied fifth again last week at the Zurich, his third top five finish of the year. We’re going with form rather than performances on this course for Toms this week but the Quail Hollow Club has been kind in the past to good putters such as Ben Curtis and Steve Stricker



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GolfCentralDaily | Golf Parody Fun Gossip Jokes Betting Tips
GolfCentralDaily | Golf Parody Fun Gossip Jokes Betting Tips
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