The European Tour has introduced a new regulation today decreeing that all players, when introducing themselves, must also state their world ranking.

The regulation, rushed through at a board meeting this morning, follows the massively positive reaction on social media, to Matt Wallace introducing himself in a video to his driver, who inexplicably didn't give a flying fuck about golf, that he was the World's number 36th ranked player.

"I barely just about knew golf was a sport," said driver Paul Bigsy (34) . "But when this guy announced that he was World Number 36, I received instantaneous confirmation that he was a far far superior human being to me and not just some ordinary fare. It was really really helpful."

More as it emerges.

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